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When your brain won’t turn off the worry

by EvieBurke, posted in Worry

Let’s talk some more about worry. It’s everyone’s favorite topic, right?

Last week I shared a three-step process to end worrying – by procrastinating!

This week let’s talk about the other side of it. You’ve gone through the steps and prepared all you can or there’s no planning you can do. It’s easy to say I’ll worry about it tomorrow, but it’s harder to put into practice.

Your brain won’t turn off the worry. So, now what?

Name it, recognize it and thank it.

Name it
Call it out. Take a deep breath (literally, take a deep breath) and acknowledge you’re worrying about it (whatever it is for you). Say it out loud.

Naming or identifying what it is you’re feeling can take some of the sting out. Name it briefly though, don’t spend a lot of time describing it.

Recognize it
Generally, we worry about things that are important to us. They can be important for a variety of reasons, an old rule we still abide by (I need to be liked by everyone) or a goal or commitment to ourselves (I want a new client because I need to pay my bills).  So, recognize why you’re worrying about it.

Thank it
Thank your brain or self for looking out for you and wanting to protect you. And let your brain (and all the other parts of you) know that it will be okay.

So, your statement might look something like this: I’m worried that I won’t receive another client because it’s important to me to have a business that pays my bills. Thank you brain for looking out for me, and I’ll be okay!

Breathe deeply before and after you say this. Take a moment to really get grounded and connected with yourself and you say this. Feel the gratitude and smile!

Repeat this as often as necessary! And if the same worry keeps coming up, this is an opportunity look at this with your coach.

What do you do address worrying? Share in the comments below.

Procrastination you can use

by EvieBurke, posted in procrastination, Worry

I’m a worrier.  I worry about a lot of things. Things like: am I prepared for this, what if something goes wrong, will that work, will they like me, etc. And in response to my worrying, I tend to make plans.

For example, I worry about money, so I plan out a budget and do my best to stick to it. I worry about being bored on trips (especially on planes), so I pack plenty of things to do.  I remember going on vacation as a kid and having a whole bag full of things to do (and being small enough that it fit on the floor in front of me because my feet didn’t quite hit the floor).

In those examples, I’d argue that my worrying had a good result, I planned in order to avoid the situation I worried about.

However, what about those things that you can’t plan for? The worries of: what if something goes wrong or will they like me? What do you do then?

This is something I tend to circle back to, it just shows up a little differently as I grow. And there’s a quote from a movie I haven’t seen that applies:

“Fiddle-dee-dee!  I won’t worry about that today.  I’ll worry about that tomorrow.  After all, tomorrow is another day!”
– Scarlett O’Hara

Procrastination you can use!  Imagine that.  So, next time you find yourself worrying about something ask yourself two questions: 1) Can I plan for it? 2) If not, can I worry about it tomorrow?  If so, repeat the questions tomorrow!

It sounds kind of silly, right?  Let’s take a look at two examples.

Will they like me?

  1. Can I plan for it? Well, no not really.
  2. If not, can I worry about it tomorrow? Absolutely.
  3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 tomorrow!


What if something goes wrong?

  1. Can I plan for it? I’ve done all the planning I can do!
  2. If not, can I worry about it tomorrow? Yep.
  3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 tomorrow.

The beauty of this is it gives you permission to stop worrying about it!  And a way to legitimately worry about it tomorrow (and in this case tomorrow never coming is a good thing!).

What do you do to stop worrying? Share in the comments below.

Question of the Fortnight #5

by EvieBurke, posted in Question of the Fortnight

What was your first networking experience?
Question of the Fortnight

Share your answer in the comments below!

What is a fortnight? It’s 14 days or 2 weeks.

What is “Question of the Fortnight?” Every other week I’ll ask a question here on the blog. Through out the two weeks I’ll update the blog post with some of your answers. These will be from the comments below, from people I see networking and any other way I happen to receive your answer to the question.

What “share what you need” is really asking

by EvieBurke, posted in networking

Tell me, have you ever been to a networking meeting where you’re asked to share something that you need with the group?

Usually, at least half (if not more) of the group shares who their ideal client is and do some version of asking for an introduction to anyone you know that fits the description.

While it’s important to know who your ideal client is and be able to describe them, that’s not really what the “share something that you need” question is about. They’re really looking for a service or product that you need or want right now.

They want to know who you’re an ideal client for and help connect you with them.

And I get it, this can be really difficult to figure out. So think about these questions:

  • Is there something you need done that you’d like to hire out for? Business or personal.
  • Is there a resource that you’re looking for yourself or to recommend to your clients?
  • Is there some information that you’re looking for?
  • Is there something you’re planning on researching that someone there might be able to help you out with (a five minute conversation with a knowledgeable person versus two hours of online searches and distractions)
  • Are you looking for a connection with a business that has the same ideal client as you, but with a different business focus? (have an idea about how you see this connection working for both of you)

At one such group, I asked for recommendations for a contact management system and instantly had three people make recommendations. People love to help!

So, next time you’re asked “what is something you need or are looking for right now?” how will you answer?

Share in the comments below!

A great place to network (sorry guys)

by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, networking

I’m writing this from the hotel of the event/conference I’m at. I wrote something last week (that you’ll see next week) so I wouldn’t need to do this.

However, sometimes you have a realization that you just have to share.

My realization: some of the best networking happens in the line to the women’s bathroom (sorry guys!).

Think about it. You probably have a few minutes together with nothing else to do but look at the ceiling, floor or walls. Why not enjoy the company of those around you!

And it’s probably the easiest place to say “Hi” too. Just turn around and introduce yourself (Hi, I’m [name]). She’ll introduce herself, you can ask her what her business is and you’re off! Don’t forget to ask for a card.

Oh, and if you’ve been given a name tag where your name slides in and you clip it to your shirt or lanyard, then slide some of your cards behind your name and put the cards of your new friends there too.

Don’t forget to write down when and where you met them! You remember now, but by the time you get home it will have all muddled together.

Where do you notice the best networking happens? Share in the comments below!