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How you do anything is how you do everything - especially under stress.

How you do anything is how you do everything…

by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, Default Setting, perspective, the gym
How you do anythingNote: I’m fine and well taken care of. Details of my “episodes” are at the end of the post (I share because I know you might be curious, not because I’m looking for advice).

I had an episode at the gym last month – a bad one by my standards (I don’t know what it is by other’s). It was a bathroom trip, juice box, another bathroom trip, lay down on the floor and have an ice pack episode.

And then I felt fine for the rest of the day.

I haven’t had an episode like that for a long time – over a year? I can usually feel them coming.

As it was happening, part of me noticed the pronounced difference in how I was handling it this time as opposed to the last time I had a fairly bad episode.

Last time I just wanted to sit in the bathroom – I didn’t feel well and thought I was going to be sick.

And I wanted someone to just take care of me, to fix it and make it all better.

When Karen (my personal trainer) came to check on me I really appreciated it, and I wasn’t sure that leaving the bathroom and having a juice box was really what I needed, but I trusted her and followed her advice.

And I felt better.

In my business at the time, it was similar – I wanted someone to give me the exact steps to follow and just make it all better. Heck, I wanted someone to just tell me what direction to go!

At the same time, I wasn’t sure that the direction or steps anyone was giving me were really going to work, but I did them anyway.

That process took longer than the juice box…

Fast forward to last month.

I’m feeling sick and like I should just head to the bathroom. I know a juice box will help, but I need to go to the bathroom – so I go.

And as I sit there feeling sick, I also know that I need to get up and have a juice box. I want to get up, even though I don’t feel like it.

So I go.

Under the watchful and caring eyes of Karen and Donna (the workout room attendant) – I have a juice box.

I still feel ill, but also a slight bit better.

I have to go to the bathroom again. I try to be quick because I know that staying in there too long isn’t what I need AND because Karen and Donna are worrying about me.

As I’m washing my hands, Karen comes in to check on me – making sure I haven’t passed out or something – I’m grateful.

I head back out and sit down.

Donna asks if I want to lie down on a weight bench. I opt instead for a mat on the floor – something I won’t potentially fall off of.

Karen gets a couple of ice packs, no longer asking if I want one – just knowing it’s what I need, even when I don’t. I take them, one for my neck and one for my forehead.

Now I am starting to feel better – I start joking with Karen and Donna.

Karen says the color has returned to my face.

I move back to the chair and sit for another ten minutes, just to make sure I’m okay to drive home and Karen starts her own workout.

The episode passed in under 15 minutes and I’m heading out the door at about the 25 minute mark.

In my business, things have also changed a lot.

I’m no longer looking for anyone to take my hand and tell me the direction I should be heading.

I chose my own direction and when I need or want help, I have trusted people (coaches and fellow entrepreneurs) to ask. And I modify what I learn to work for me and where I am.

I’m no longer looking for a savior or magic pill from the outside (well, we all have bad days).

Instead I’m looking and finding support and resources to help me take the needed/wanted steps and occasionally suggest something else that I’m blind to or simply don’t know about.

How we do anything is how we do everything. I’d add – especially under stress.

I have two questions for you today, I’d love if you’d answer one or both of them in the comments below:

  1. How do you react under stress and how do you want to react?
  2. How have you grown in the past year or so?
Episode details: My personal trainer and I believe the episodes are caused by a sugar crash in my body. I have been tested and I’m not diabetic or hypoglycemic, but a juice box generally brings the color back to my face pretty dang quickly.
The episodes are brought on by lots of heavy cardio where my heart rate is elevated a bit higher than a normal workout. Generally, at around the 10-15 minute mark I can feel the telltale signs that an episode is coming and Karen will notice I’ve gone a bit pale. When that happens I sit down and generally have a juice box. Then my color returns and I feel fine.
These episodes are not a regular occurrence. The bad ones, as described above, happen maybe once a year. The less severe ones (when I notice it coming earlier) happen maybe 2-3 times a year.

Question of the Fortnight #7

by EvieBurke, posted in Question of the Fortnight

How do you pick new networking groups or events to attend?Question of the Fortnight

Share your answer in the comments below!

What is a fortnight? It’s 14 days or 2 weeks.

What is “Question of the Fortnight?” Every other week I’ll ask a question here on the blog. Through out the two weeks I’ll update the blog post with some of your answers. These will be from the comments below, from people I see networking and any other way I happen to receive your answer to the question.

Do the work and keep showing up

by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, Changes, engaged

Last week’s topic was about the shift that takes us from beating ourselves up to celebrating where we are and doing the work with less frustration and more ease.

But what causes that shift? What leads to the change in perspective?

This is where I’d argue we really want that magic pill – a pill for that change in perspective. Something that takes us from frustrated and overworked to excited about what’s next.


Me and my coach, Christine Kane

About a year ago I joined a program that I had a gut feeling would help me grow my business in a way that worked for me (meaning I wouldn’t have to start doing things that just felt ick to me, but work wonderfully for others). Yes, the idea of a shift was in the back of my mind, but it wasn’t primarily what I was looking for.

I remember getting on a Q&A call near the beginning of the program, wanting the exact steps that I needed to take that would lead instantly to clients and more money coming in.

Christine didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear – she told me what I needed to hear: keep doing the work, keep showing up.

I was deflated. I knew she was right, but I wanted results NOW. And, as I learned, this is a very common question and problem – wanting the results packaged in a set of easily performed steps.

I did the work and I kept showing up. Without even realizing it, things started to shift.

Then something else amazing happened, I started getting a few more clients here and there.

So what happened? What caused the shift? How did I change?

I did the work and kept showing up.

And what the heck does that even mean?!

It means that I worked on the foundation of my business, I worked on being clear about how I help entrepreneurs (beyond the “this is how the program works”), I focused on one or two ways that I wanted to meet the people who would become my clients, I figured out what worked for me and what didn’t and I played with various habits to support me – I did the work.

I started paying attention again to where I stopped, revisited what I really wanted and I listened to every training and Q&A call with the intention of not just listening, but being engaged – I kept showing up.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.
– Zig Ziglar

Or, said another way:

John C Maxwell Quote

It’s that becoming that people notice. It shows up in small ways: how you hold yourself and talk – your confidence and clarity. And you don’t even realize it’s happening at first.

Do the work and keep showing up.

What does doing the work and keep showing up look like for you? Share in the comments!

Doing the work, success, comparing and energy

by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, comparisons, perspective

In the past, I’ve written about magic pills – how sometimes all you want is someone to just tell you what to do so you can follow the predefined steps and have instant success and income.

In some part of you brain, you know that it’s not possible – but it doesn’t always stop you from looking.

Sometimes you jump into something that looks and feels like it is exactly what we need. But it doesn’t work the way you want. AND then it gets even more frustrating because you see someone else having the success that YOU want following the same steps (or program) that you are.

Let’s talk about why that happens.

You’ve joined this program that’s going to teach you everything you need to know to be successful in that area of your business that you’re struggling with. And in this program you meet Joan. She’s been in business for about as long as you have and you feel like you’re in about the same place – similar frustrations and struggles.

You and Joan are both fully engaged in the program, faithfully doing each step. Only you realize halfway through the program that Joan seems to be having more success!

You’re stunned! You’re following the same steps and doing the same work. Why aren’t you having the same success – or more!

Then you start comparing and wondering: What’s different? Does she have a better business model? Maybe her city is just better suited for her type of business than yours is? Is she more outgoing? Have a better network? Have friends better suited to help her out?

You’re looking for all the reasons you can think of for why she’s doing better. And you’re getting mad that the cards are stacked in her favor (and against you).

And then something changes, a perspective shift. You start thinking about and writing down what YOU are and aren’t doing. You take ownership of your results, both the good (that you’ve been glossing over because they weren’t Joan good) and the bad (that you’ve been alternating obsessing about and ignoring).

Suddenly, you’re not mad at or jealous of Joan anymore. You’re excited for her!

And your energy has shifted. You don’t even notice it at first – instead you noticed people behaving different around you, conversations are easier and you’re having more fun in your business.

You’re doing the work, but a little differently than you were before. Now you’re looking at the same steps and same work with a new set of eyes and it’s making a difference.

And your business – you’re serving more people and making more money – basically, you love it and are excited for where you’ll go with it next!

What’s your dream for your business? Whether 6 months out or 3 years! Share in the comments below.

Question of the Fortnight #6

by EvieBurke, posted in Question of the Fortnight

Why is your favorite networking group your favorite?Question of the Fortnight

Some of the answers I’ve received are:

Do I have to narrow it down to one?*

I have a couple of groups that would fall under “favorite” but the *WHY* is the same. I find my favorite groups are those that offer education and support, with networking as a by product. Groups where people are more interested in supporting other members, and having the business build naturally by getting to know, like, and trust people.

I find the same to be true both in local and online groups. One of my favorite online groups is a Google+ group of Virtual Assistants. We’re all doing (about) the same type of work, so we aren’t referring much to each other, but we’re all willing to share our knowledge and strengths with each other.

*(Just remember I can’t pick a favorite flavor of ice cream either).
– Mary Wu

My favorite networking group is my Mastermind. I don’t know if that officially counts as a networking group, but for me (an introvert who squirms at most networking events) it counts.

I love it because I’ve build great relationships with people who I admire and like. I find so much wisdom and insight in their advice, suggestions or opinions.

Recently, I joined a local networking group. I enjoy it for many reasons:

  • I get out of the house and away from my laptop. As a marketing copywriter, I spend a lot of time staring at a monitor.
  • I get to meet people who own businesses outside of the “online” world. Brick and mortar businesses have different challenges and needs. It’s good to get outside your comfort zone, occasionally.
  • I can practice being present as a business owner, which enables me to honor my work in a different way.

– Glad Doggett

I don’t have a favorite because of the way I network. Except for my mastermind, my groups are focused around hobbies. We’re all there to have fun and we support each other in all of our endeavors, including business.

I love natural networking and avoid business specific networking groups. Though I’m going to try one tomorrow:-)
– Nneka, Working Mystic

Share your answer in the comments below!

What is a fortnight? It’s 14 days or 2 weeks.

What is “Question of the Fortnight?” Every other week I’ll ask a question here on the blog. Through out the two weeks I’ll update the blog post with some of your answers. These will be from the comments below, from people I see networking and any other way I happen to receive your answer to the question.