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Pity Party

Throw yourself a pity party

by EvieBurke, posted in Overwhelm

Over the past few weeks, I’ve noticed that some of us are coming up against our stuff.

Maybe you’re there too. Maybe for a bit, your goals felt too big and the path there too daunting. And everything that comes your way is another thing to add to your already heavy load. You feel like you’re just waiting for that proverbial straw that breaks the camel’s back.

So, what do you do?

There are several ways to handle it.

Some people stuff their feelings and try to quickly move on, ignoring the stuff. The problem is those feelings eventually bubble to the surface even stronger.

Others allow themselves to feel the stuff and continue to feel it for days.

Neither is a great option.

So, what to do?

Pity PartyThrow yourself a pity party if that’s what you need. Allow yourself to feel your stuff.

Does that suggestion surprise you?

Well, there are strings attached: set a time limit.

When you recognize what’s going on, that you have stuff to work through, give yourself some time to feel it AND set a timer. Whether that’s 10 minutes or 20 – set a timer and allow your stuff to bubble up.

Now, I realize that once the timer goes off it’s not easier to simply feel better (super easy to write, difficult to do).

So, when the timer goes off take a few deep, calming breaths.  Go ahead and do that now.  Breathe in deep through your nose and out through your mouth.  Relaxing isn’t it?

Next, think about what’s going right and what you’re thankful for.  Gratitude, it’s a great mood lifter.

So, next time you want to throw yourself a pity party, go ahead! But make sure you’re consciously making that decision.  Also, limit how long the party is and then spend some time being grateful for other things in your life.

Photo credit: Pity Party by Evil Erin via flickr

Networking in a way that didn’t work for me

by EvieBurke, posted in Uncategorized

This is the seventh (and final) installment of the 8 easy-to-make networking mistakes that can be avoided series.

This week I’m covering the second of two mistakes that aren’t immediately apparent, but are there just the same.

Networking in a way that didn’t work for me because I saw it work for someone else or I read that it was the way networking should be done.

This one I made a bit later on, when I started to realize that maybe I could be doing more than just showing up at networking events with an elevator speech.

I picked up a couple of well-known books about building your business through referrals (I’m purposely not sharing names here because they also contain really great information) and read all about how you should always ask for referrals, make lots of phone calls each day, and do any number of other things that I thought sounded awful, but shrugged it off as me coming up against my comfort zone (which I was, but not in a good way).

To be clear, these strategies work really well for some people. They can do it and it doesn’t feel icky to them or the people they’re talking too (most of the time).

For me? Well, for me it felt weird and pushy.

Yes, some of it was my own stuff around sales and marketing. And some of it was part of me knowing that these are good strategies to know about, but they weren’t for me.

Once I recognized that I didn’t have to network (or do business for that matter) in a way that didn’t work for me regardless of what the guru had to say, things became a bit easier (and I still expanded my comfort zone).

In closing this series I want to repeat something I wrote previously: Recognize that you’re going to make mistakes and that is OKAY.

Those mistakes are your path to success and can be expected.

Share one of your favorite networking stories in the comments below.

The networking events I didn’t go to

by EvieBurke, posted in Uncategorized

This is the sixth (but not final) installment of the 8 easy-to-make networking mistakes that can be avoided series.

This week I’m covering one of two mistakes that aren’t immediately apparent, but are there just the same.

The networking events I didn’t go to.

Between you and me, I like being at home. It’s comfortable, I know what to expect and I usually don’t have to have conversations with people I don’t know.

And I’m more of an introvert* than an extrovert. So, sometimes networking feels like a lot of work.

There were a lot of networking opportunities that I could have taken advantage of and other opportunities I didn’t know about because I didn’t look or ask. And I missed them (or you could say ignored), because it felt a bit too outside of my comfort zone – and I was going networking!

Isn’t going to 2 or 3 a month enough?

Answering that question is where it gets tricky.

Because it depends.

It depends on where you are in your business and where you want to go.

Every coach I’ve had has said it, I’ve seen it and I’ve heard others that I trust say it to: the fastest path to cash is individual clients. And networking is one of the best ways for them to find you.

So, when I was just starting out it was in my best interest to attend at least four if not 6-8 networking events a month.

Over the summer I was focusing on next steps for my business and was networking less.

And right now I’m focusing on growing my business, so I’m attending more events.

How many networking events make sense for you right now? Share your thoughts or questions in the comments over here.

*That means I replenish my energy stores by being at home (it doesn’t mean I’m shy or can’t have a good time away from home). And extrovert replenishes them by being out or with other people. And introverts tend to like deeper conversation and not enjoy small talk.

You always have more to offer than you think you do

by EvieBurke, posted in networking

This is the fifth installment of the 8 easy-to-make networking mistakes that can be avoided series.

This week’s mistake is: I assumed I had nothing to offer in the way of connections or possible referrals.

My belief around business relationships was they were only useful if you immediately had something to offer in the way of connections or possible referrals.

And I did not have any of that (partially because I wasn’t willing to share the contact info of my friends and family).

Therefore, I thought I had nothing to offer.

This was completely NOT true.

While I didn’t have a large business network of people I knew well, I could have started to slowly build my business network and then connecting people I was meeting.

And while I might not have known people to immediately refer to them, I’m a really good listener and I absorb information that I can usually share fairly easily.

You always have more to offer than you think you do.So, despite feeling like I had nothing to offer, I had three very important and useful things:

  1. My listening talents.
  2. An ability to share information.
  3. A growing list of business friends and acquaintances.

You always have more to offer than you think you do!

Besides how you help people in your business, what do you have to offer? Share in the comments below!

The currency of real networking is not greed but generosity. - Keith Ferrazzi

The real purpose of meeting people for coffee

by EvieBurke, posted in networking

This is the fourth installment of the 8 easy-to-make networking mistakes that can be avoided series.

This week I’m going over two mistakes:

  1. I assumed coffee meetings were only for selling your service/product.
  2. I didn’t do follow-up calls with people I met or set up coffee meetings.

Because I assumed that meeting people for coffee was only for selling your service or product, that was the energy I put out there. Part of that was because I really did want people to meet with me to find out more about what I did and then buy from me.

The result was, aside from Robin (who knew how to network, offered great advice and referred me to my current accountant), 90% of the coffee meetings I went to were people doing their sales pitch. I rationalized that it was okay because I expected it.

And because I was primarily meeting with only people who wanted me to buy their things, calling them later or having another coffee meeting never even crossed my mind. After all, I still wasn’t interested in their service or product (remember I thought coffee meetings were to sell your service/product).

Unfortunately, there are many people out there who have been networking for years and believe that coffee meetings and follow-up phone calls ARE only about selling your service/product.

And some of them have built fairly successful businesses doing that. Here’s what I’ve noticed though, they constantly have to find new places to network.

Why? Because they get the reputation of being that guy who just wants to sell you their stuff. Then their potential for sales quickly plummets and they have to find somewhere else to network where they don’t have that reputation or encourages that kind of thing.

I don’t know about you, but that method of sales seems completely exhausting to me. Seriously, I’d rather get another job working for someone else – I’d feel less icky at the end of the day.

So, what’s the alternative look like?

The real purpose of meeting people for coffee is:

  • Getting to know the other person and their business
  • Discovering who their ideal client is
  • Finding out what resources they might need

The currency of real networking is not greed but generosity. - Keith FerrazziBasically, the purpose of coffee meetings are to build business relationships, friendships even.

And you do that by being curious about the other person. Who do they serve, why do they serve them? What do they like about what they do?

You continue to build that relationship by doing follow-up calls and coffee meetings later. Discover what new things are happening for them and their business. Learn if something has changed.

Your business relationships are built by continuing the conversation over time, just like any other relationship.

I invite you to share something a little different – share what your best coffee meeting was and why it was the best. If you don’t have an example that springs to mind, share what you think it would look like in the comments below!