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Looking away

by EvieBurke, posted in perspective

I’ve been thinking about the topic of “looking away” for almost two weeks. It’s shown up for me in many places and I’ve wanted to write about it here.

So, we’ll be exploring this topic for the next couple weeks.

This week let’s look at what I mean by “looking away.”

It’s those places in your life or business that are uncomfortable to look at for too long, for whatever reason.

Looking away from conversations, actions, events, beliefs or even people allows us to stay comfortable or at least know what to expect (which might not be exactly comfortable, but can feel more comfortable than the unknown).

Looking away can also mean we plateau, don’t grow or don’t become more of what we really want.

Today I want to give you space to fill in what it looks like for you without my interpretations or ideas of where you might look away.

What do you notice you look away from?

Pity Party

Throw yourself a pity party

by EvieBurke, posted in Overwhelm

Over the past few weeks, I’ve noticed that some of us are coming up against our stuff.

Maybe you’re there too. Maybe for a bit, your goals felt too big and the path there too daunting. And everything that comes your way is another thing to add to your already heavy load. You feel like you’re just waiting for that proverbial straw that breaks the camel’s back.

So, what do you do?

There are several ways to handle it.

Some people stuff their feelings and try to quickly move on, ignoring the stuff. The problem is those feelings eventually bubble to the surface even stronger.

Others allow themselves to feel the stuff and continue to feel it for days.

Neither is a great option.

So, what to do?

Pity PartyThrow yourself a pity party if that’s what you need. Allow yourself to feel your stuff.

Does that suggestion surprise you?

Well, there are strings attached: set a time limit.

When you recognize what’s going on, that you have stuff to work through, give yourself some time to feel it AND set a timer. Whether that’s 10 minutes or 20 – set a timer and allow your stuff to bubble up.

Now, I realize that once the timer goes off it’s not easier to simply feel better (super easy to write, difficult to do).

So, when the timer goes off take a few deep, calming breaths.  Go ahead and do that now.  Breathe in deep through your nose and out through your mouth.  Relaxing isn’t it?

Next, think about what’s going right and what you’re thankful for.  Gratitude, it’s a great mood lifter.

So, next time you want to throw yourself a pity party, go ahead! But make sure you’re consciously making that decision.  Also, limit how long the party is and then spend some time being grateful for other things in your life.

Photo credit: Pity Party by Evil Erin via flickr

Networking in a way that didn’t work for me

by EvieBurke, posted in Uncategorized

This is the seventh (and final) installment of the 8 easy-to-make networking mistakes that can be avoided series.

This week I’m covering the second of two mistakes that aren’t immediately apparent, but are there just the same.

Networking in a way that didn’t work for me because I saw it work for someone else or I read that it was the way networking should be done.

This one I made a bit later on, when I started to realize that maybe I could be doing more than just showing up at networking events with an elevator speech.

I picked up a couple of well-known books about building your business through referrals (I’m purposely not sharing names here because they also contain really great information) and read all about how you should always ask for referrals, make lots of phone calls each day, and do any number of other things that I thought sounded awful, but shrugged it off as me coming up against my comfort zone (which I was, but not in a good way).

To be clear, these strategies work really well for some people. They can do it and it doesn’t feel icky to them or the people they’re talking too (most of the time).

For me? Well, for me it felt weird and pushy.

Yes, some of it was my own stuff around sales and marketing. And some of it was part of me knowing that these are good strategies to know about, but they weren’t for me.

Once I recognized that I didn’t have to network (or do business for that matter) in a way that didn’t work for me regardless of what the guru had to say, things became a bit easier (and I still expanded my comfort zone).

In closing this series I want to repeat something I wrote previously: Recognize that you’re going to make mistakes and that is OKAY.

Those mistakes are your path to success and can be expected.

Share one of your favorite networking stories in the comments below.

The networking events I didn’t go to

by EvieBurke, posted in Uncategorized

This is the sixth (but not final) installment of the 8 easy-to-make networking mistakes that can be avoided series.

This week I’m covering one of two mistakes that aren’t immediately apparent, but are there just the same.

The networking events I didn’t go to.

Between you and me, I like being at home. It’s comfortable, I know what to expect and I usually don’t have to have conversations with people I don’t know.

And I’m more of an introvert* than an extrovert. So, sometimes networking feels like a lot of work.

There were a lot of networking opportunities that I could have taken advantage of and other opportunities I didn’t know about because I didn’t look or ask. And I missed them (or you could say ignored), because it felt a bit too outside of my comfort zone – and I was going networking!

Isn’t going to 2 or 3 a month enough?

Answering that question is where it gets tricky.

Because it depends.

It depends on where you are in your business and where you want to go.

Every coach I’ve had has said it, I’ve seen it and I’ve heard others that I trust say it to: the fastest path to cash is individual clients. And networking is one of the best ways for them to find you.

So, when I was just starting out it was in my best interest to attend at least four if not 6-8 networking events a month.

Over the summer I was focusing on next steps for my business and was networking less.

And right now I’m focusing on growing my business, so I’m attending more events.

How many networking events make sense for you right now? Share your thoughts or questions in the comments over here.

*That means I replenish my energy stores by being at home (it doesn’t mean I’m shy or can’t have a good time away from home). And extrovert replenishes them by being out or with other people. And introverts tend to like deeper conversation and not enjoy small talk.

You always have more to offer than you think you do

by EvieBurke, posted in networking

This is the fifth installment of the 8 easy-to-make networking mistakes that can be avoided series.

This week’s mistake is: I assumed I had nothing to offer in the way of connections or possible referrals.

My belief around business relationships was they were only useful if you immediately had something to offer in the way of connections or possible referrals.

And I did not have any of that (partially because I wasn’t willing to share the contact info of my friends and family).

Therefore, I thought I had nothing to offer.

This was completely NOT true.

While I didn’t have a large business network of people I knew well, I could have started to slowly build my business network and then connecting people I was meeting.

And while I might not have known people to immediately refer to them, I’m a really good listener and I absorb information that I can usually share fairly easily.

You always have more to offer than you think you do.So, despite feeling like I had nothing to offer, I had three very important and useful things:

  1. My listening talents.
  2. An ability to share information.
  3. A growing list of business friends and acquaintances.

You always have more to offer than you think you do!

Besides how you help people in your business, what do you have to offer? Share in the comments below!