Looking away by looking toward something else

The last two weeks we’ve looked at “looking away” here and here.

This week the theme continues!

Looking away sometimes looks like looking toward something else.

For example, you want to call that person you met networking earlier this week to set up a coffee meeting next week.

But then you remember these other things that have to be done before next week and you get to work.

Suddenly, it’s too late to make a phone call (I call this productive procrastination).

Did things get done that needed to get done?


Did the phone call happen?


Sometimes we distract ourselves with tasks – with those important to-do’s that simply must get done.

And when we take a step back, take a higher level view, we realize that the phone call probably would have taken under 5 minutes to make (maybe 10 if you prepped for it) and we certainly could have squeezed that time in (after all, how much time did you spend looking at unimportant emails or checking Facebook?).

While this example includes procrastination, looking away by looking toward something else doesn’t always appear that way.

It might be more subtle – reading or jumping into a conversation instead of taking some time to yourself to contemplate or changing the subject when a difficult topic comes up.

What do you find yourself looking towards when you might actually be looking away? Share in the comments below.

Perfection and Failure

bright doorway

The person out there doing things imperfectly is always making more progress (and money) than the person sitting at home waiting for things to be perfect. – Evie Burke

Things don’t always go the way we expect. Waiting for something to be perfect won’t change that.

Failure only means that we tried something and it didn’t work out the way we expected.

And that’s okay.

I’ll leave you with a quote I’ve shared before:

So fail.
Be bad at things.
Be embarrassed.
Be afraid.
Be vulnerable.

Go out on a limb or two or twelve, and you will fall and it’ll hurt. But the harder you fall, the farther you will rise. The louder you fall, the clearer your future becomes. Failure is a gift, welcome it.

There are people who spend their whole lives wondering how they became the people they became, how certain chances passed them by, why they didn’t take the road less traveled.

Those people aren’t you.

You have front row seats to your own transformation, and in transforming yourself, you might even transform the world. And it will be electric, and I promise you it will be terrifying.

Embrace that; embrace the new person you’re becoming.

This is your moment.

I promise you, it is now, now, not two minutes from now, not tomorrow, but really now. Own that; know that deep in your bones. And go to sleep every night knowing that, wake up every morning remembering that.

And then… keep going.

– Unknown (emphasis added)

Are You Fully Present?

What are the things that make you feel really alive? When are you fully present in the moment? Find those things and do more of them!

This week notice the activities or people that make you feel truly alive and fully present or engaged in the moment. Put a piece of paper into your wallet or purse (along with a pen!) and write them down as you notice them. Review the list at the end of your day and add anything else (or person) that comes to mind. At the end of the week review the list and note any common themes or trends. How can you incorporate those activities or people into your life more? What other things can you do that are along the same theme?

Participating in the activities that make you feel alive and fully present in the moment give you an uplifting energy that is powerful and is a great gift to give yourself.

Ask, Believe, Participate

I recently was at a meeting where the speaker talked about creating miracles. He outlined three steps that stayed with me despite the fact that I didn’t write them down. I’d heard versions of this before in various places, but he said it so succinctly: Ask, Believe, Participate.

Sometimes we might wonder if we’re worthy of receiving a miracle.  If this describes you replace the word miracle with outcome or results as you read.

Now, let’s review each step in more detail:

  1. Ask or pray for the miracle. You could also describe this as setting an intention (what outcome do you want).  Some people ask the universe for their miracle, others pray to God, both work!  When asking for your miracle use positive language.  Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want.
  2. Believe the miracle will happen! Think of how it will feel once the miracle occurs and picture what will be different.
  3. Participate in the miracle. If you’ve done the first steps, you don’t get to sit on the sofa and watch TV while you wait for your miracle to occur.  There is some work involved!  What steps do you need to take to make your miracle happen?  This step is the easiest to forget about and it’s just as important as the first two steps.  Opportunities will appear that will take you closer to your miracle and you want to be available to say yes to them.

I know this works and that it doesn’t always work in the way that you expect.  After I got a bad review at work and decided to hire my first coach I set my intention (asked for my miracle) that I would become clear about what my next career step was going to be, because I didn’t feel it would be with the current company.  I believed that I was completely capable of determining what my next step would be and felt excited about what my future held.  I wrote out things that I wanted to have in my next job like the work I wanted to do, my commute time and what my cubicle looked like.  I participated by continuing to work with my coach and doing the assignments.  And a week after asking for my miracle it came in a form I did NOT expect: I was laid off because the company was being sold!  If you’re interested you can read the story here.  One interesting thing is that when I was rehired, many of the things I wanted in my next job were present because I was in a new position, a new cubicle and was working with great people.

I challenge you to think about what miracles (or outcomes or events) you’re praying/asking for and to go through the three steps (Ask, Believe, Participate) this week.

Please let me know if you have any questions!

Do You Wish They Would Do More?

Have you ever wished that someone would do more of something for you, even just once?  Perhaps you wish that your boss would compliment you every once in a while when you do a good job on a project.  Or your husband would take care of that one project you’ve been asking him to do for the last few months. Or maybe you wish that someone took more of an interest in what you do.  Do you have a wish like that?

Let me ask another question: When was the last time you did that thing you wanted more of for that person?  When was the last time you complimented your boss or quickly took care of something that was important to your husband or took an interest in what someone else does (and really listened)?

You get what you give right?  So what are you giving and what do you want to get?  Think about it and this week try to give more of what you would like to receive.  You might be surprised at your results!

Let me know how it goes!