Category: perspective

How do you describe you?

by EvieBurke, posted in Gratitude, perspective

Mother’s day is this weekend and I remembered a video that I saw a few months ago that feels appropriate to share.

Did it surprise you to see most of the moms described themselves as needing improvement? More patience, less perfectionism, and struggling with temper where a few things mentioned.

How about how their kids described them? Beautiful, fun, and totally awesome were just a few of their descriptions.

I love the video, it makes me tear up. And it made me think about how often we do this in every aspect of our lives. You don’t give yourself enough credit.

Instead of noticing what a great job you’re doing in your business or with your clients, you’re focusing on what needs improvement, what could be better.

Yes, improvement is important, it’s good to know what that is. And you don’t need to do that at the expense of everything you’re doing right.

Today, take a couple of minutes and make a list of what you’re doing right. It doesn’t just have to be a business list. And if you’re having problems coming up with a list of more than 4 or 5 things call someone you love and ask them what you’re doing right. Feel free to tell them that it’s an assignment that your coach gave you.

Keep that list next to your computer or in your wallet. Put it somewhere that you see it often and can easily refer to.

And celebrate! You’re wonderful, sometimes you just need to be reminded.

What do you really control?

by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, Complaining, perspective

ClickForControlHave you ever noticed how much we don’t have control over? We can’t control the weather, our friends and family or other drivers.

Sometimes this can be rather frustrating. Where is spring? Why is it still chilly here? Why is that person tailgating me? Who’s going to be nice and let me change lanes?

So, it’s natural to nod our heads in agreement when someone says that being in control of our lives is just an illusion. After all, just look at the list of things you can’t control. The list of things you and I can’t control is infinite.

But there is one thing everyone does have control of in all situations. You are in control of how you choose to react in each situation you’re in or observe.

You get to choose whether the guy tailgating you annoys the heck out of you or not. You get to choose to complain about the cold day or enjoy the fact that the sun is out.  You get to make those decisions every single day.

So, is control an illusion? I guess it depends on what you’re trying to control.

Are you trying to control the situation or your reaction to the situation? I find it’s less stressful for me when I make the decision to control my reaction, rather than the situation.

What do you think? Share in the comments below.

Free stamp

How Free Are Free Offers?

by EvieBurke, posted in perspective

Free stampHow are you spending your time?

Is it with a lot of free offers? Free opportunities?

My free of choice for a long time was teleclasses – meaning if you had a teleclass with some information I though might be useful to me at any point in my business, then I signed up!

I see other people doing the same thing. Sometimes it’s a free teleclasses, sometimes its a free consultation. Sometimes it’s something else, but it’s free, therefore it costs us nothing, right?

What we forget about these free things is that they take time.

And suddenly we’re wondering when we’re going to have time to call that person who expressed an interest. Or even just get some of the core work done in our business.

All because we’re grabbing that free.

What is that free really costing you?

I’m not saying that free can’t be valuable – heck, I do it too! I offer a free 30-minute conversation to people who want to learn more about what I do and how I might be able to help them.

There can be a lot of value in free, but it’s only valuable if that’s what you really need.

I’ve done it and I see others taking advantage of all the free because it might not be free later!

What if you believed that the free that you don’t really need right now will be available in some form or another when you’re at the place when you do need it?

What if that information IS available later, maybe just in a different form? And you don’t need to add more to your day to get it now?

What would your business and life look like if you truly believed that you could let go of what you don’t need right now and instead focused on where you are and what you need now? How would that feel?

Paint me a picture of what that looks like for you over in the comments below!

PS. If you’re having some problems figuring out what it is that you really need right now – be sure to read next week.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Businesswoman Looking Through Binoculars

What Are You Noticing?

by EvieBurke, posted in perspective

Businesswoman Looking Through BinocularsSomeone I respect and love recently posted a video for their upcoming program.

In person, I find them kind, warm and funny.

In the video, they were clearly trying to make a point and take a stand.

Which is good, right?

You want videos (and articles) to make a point and stand for something.

And maybe it’s only because I know them in person, but I couldn’t help but wonder – where is that kind, warm and funny person I know?

The person in the video is rehearsed and awkward.

Where is the smile and twinkle in the eye? How could have they brought more of that to the video?

It seemed too… perfect and planned… trying too hard.

And then I wondered: What does this say about me? Why am I noticing this? Why am I not appreciating the message being delivered, the stand this person is taking for what they believe in?

I came up with two answers:

  1. I’m afraid of coming off as too rehearsed sometimes, too perfect and planned, trying too hard. Interestingly, I’m also afraid of coming across as unprepared or not prepared enough. Or somehow not sharing the warmth and kindness that I know I have.
  2. Maybe this video is exactly what it needs to be. Maybe I don’t resonate with it because it’s not meant for me. Or maybe I’m so busy putting my “stuff” on someone else, that I’m not allowing the message to really sink in.

Why am I sharing this story with you?

It’s easy to be critical of someone or something else, easy notice that they’re doing it wrong.

After all, we see those things pointed out all the time – worst dressed lists, reality TV shows or someone casually saying “that’s not how I would have done it.” We expect it and we look for it so we have something to talk about with our family and friends.

What if we started looking at ourselves instead? No, I’m not suggesting you notice everything you perceive as wrong with yourself.

Instead, what if you asked yourself why you noticed what you noticed? In many cases, you’ll find that it’s (1) something you do yourself (or think you do) that you wish you didn’t do or (2) something you used to do and wish you hadn’t. Basically, there’s some self-judgment happening.

I challenge you to think about this and observe what you notice this week.

Share your thoughts in the comments below!

Party Hat on Laptop

Celebrate That? But It Was Too Easy!

by EvieBurke, posted in perspective, Task List

Party Hat on LaptopHow often have you reviewed your week and been frustrated because it seems like the BIG and difficult things didn’t get done?

Yes, maybe a lot of other things were completed, but those really don’t seem to count, because the really HARD thing didn’t get done. So, you automatically feel bad, and maybe guilty, for missing that target.

Why aren’t you excited about the things you did accomplish?

Sometimes we don’t give ourselves credit for the routine or simple things we do that support us and our businesses.

  • Did you send out you weekly or monthly newsletter/note to your subscribers? Congrats! How many weeks or months has that been going without interruption? Are you celebrating?
  • Did you get out of the house and go networking, even though you had items from yesterday’s to-do list undone? Congrats! You’re out there meeting people and strengthening existing connections!
  • Did you meet a personal goal this week? Congrats! You’re taking care of yourself so you can continue taking care of your business!
  • Did you have meetings with clients this week, timely follow up with them, or sell your product and deliver it? Congrats! You’re taking care of your customers!

I could go on, but hopefully you get the idea.

We often get caught up in everything that didn’t get done, goals that were missed and maybe opportunities that were lost.

We want to improve for next time, which is good! You want to review why something didn’t work and adjust for next time.

But we’re so busy focusing on those things that we miss some of the celebrations, big and small, that we could be having along the way.

So, I have a challenge for you: over the next 7 days, at the end of each day, write down what went right and what you accomplished. At the end of the 7 days, review it and have a little celebration for yourself! And come back here and share!

In the meantime, what have you already accomplished today? Share in the comments below!