perspective – Page 3 – One Insight Closer

Doing the work, success, comparing and energy

July 3, 2014July 3, 2014 by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, comparisons, perspective

In the past, I’ve written about magic pills – how sometimes all you want is someone to just tell you what to do so you can follow the predefined steps and have instant success and income.

In some part of you brain, you know that it’s not possible – but it doesn’t always stop you from looking.

Sometimes you jump into something that looks and feels like it is exactly what we need. But it doesn’t work the way you want. AND then it gets even more frustrating because you see someone else having the success that YOU want following the same steps (or program) that you are.

Let’s talk about why that happens.

You’ve joined this program that’s going to teach you everything you need to know to be successful in that area of your business that you’re struggling with. And in this program you meet Joan. She’s been in business for about as long as you have and you feel like you’re in about the same place – similar frustrations and struggles.

You and Joan are both fully engaged in the program, faithfully doing each step. Only you realize halfway through the program that Joan seems to be having more success!

You’re stunned! You’re following the same steps and doing the same work. Why aren’t you having the same success – or more!

Then you start comparing and wondering: What’s different? Does she have a better business model? Maybe her city is just better suited for her type of business than yours is? Is she more outgoing? Have a better network? Have friends better suited to help her out?

You’re looking for all the reasons you can think of for why she’s doing better. And you’re getting mad that the cards are stacked in her favor (and against you).

And then something changes, a perspective shift. You start thinking about and writing down what YOU are and aren’t doing. You take ownership of your results, both the good (that you’ve been glossing over because they weren’t Joan good) and the bad (that you’ve been alternating obsessing about and ignoring).

Suddenly, you’re not mad at or jealous of Joan anymore. You’re excited for her!

And your energy has shifted. You don’t even notice it at first – instead you noticed people behaving different around you, conversations are easier and you’re having more fun in your business.

You’re doing the work, but a little differently than you were before. Now you’re looking at the same steps and same work with a new set of eyes and it’s making a difference.

And your business – you’re serving more people and making more money – basically, you love it and are excited for where you’ll go with it next!

What’s your dream for your business? Whether 6 months out or 3 years! Share in the comments below.

How do you describe you?

May 9, 2014May 9, 2014 by EvieBurke, posted in Gratitude, perspective

Mother’s day is this weekend and I remembered a video that I saw a few months ago that feels appropriate to share.

Did it surprise you to see most of the moms described themselves as needing improvement? More patience, less perfectionism, and struggling with temper where a few things mentioned.

How about how their kids described them? Beautiful, fun, and totally awesome were just a few of their descriptions.

I love the video, it makes me tear up. And it made me think about how often we do this in every aspect of our lives. You don’t give yourself enough credit.

Instead of noticing what a great job you’re doing in your business or with your clients, you’re focusing on what needs improvement, what could be better.

Yes, improvement is important, it’s good to know what that is. And you don’t need to do that at the expense of everything you’re doing right.

Today, take a couple of minutes and make a list of what you’re doing right. It doesn’t just have to be a business list. And if you’re having problems coming up with a list of more than 4 or 5 things call someone you love and ask them what you’re doing right. Feel free to tell them that it’s an assignment that your coach gave you.

Keep that list next to your computer or in your wallet. Put it somewhere that you see it often and can easily refer to.

And celebrate! You’re wonderful, sometimes you just need to be reminded.

What do you really control?

April 17, 2014April 17, 2014 by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, Complaining, perspective

Have you ever noticed how much we don’t have control over? We can’t control the weather, our friends and family or other drivers.

Sometimes this can be rather frustrating. Where is spring? Why is it still chilly here? Why is that person tailgating me? Who’s going to be nice and let me change lanes?

So, it’s natural to nod our heads in agreement when someone says that being in control of our lives is just an illusion. After all, just look at the list of things you can’t control. The list of things you and I can’t control is infinite.

But there is one thing everyone does have control of in all situations. You are in control of how you choose to react in each situation you’re in or observe.

You get to choose whether the guy tailgating you annoys the heck out of you or not. You get to choose to complain about the cold day or enjoy the fact that the sun is out. You get to make those decisions every single day.

So, is control an illusion? I guess it depends on what you’re trying to control.

Are you trying to control the situation or your reaction to the situation? I find it’s less stressful for me when I make the decision to control my reaction, rather than the situation.

What do you think? Share in the comments below.

How Free Are Free Offers?

March 28, 2014March 28, 2014 by EvieBurke, posted in perspective

How are you spending your time?

Is it with a lot of free offers? Free opportunities?

My free of choice for a long time was teleclasses – meaning if you had a teleclass with some information I though might be useful to me at any point in my business, then I signed up!

I see other people doing the same thing. Sometimes it’s a free teleclasses, sometimes its a free consultation. Sometimes it’s something else, but it’s free, therefore it costs us nothing, right?

What we forget about these free things is that they take time.

And suddenly we’re wondering when we’re going to have time to call that person who expressed an interest. Or even just get some of the core work done in our business.

All because we’re grabbing that free.

What is that free really costing you?

I’m not saying that free can’t be valuable – heck, I do it too! I offer a free 30-minute conversation to people who want to learn more about what I do and how I might be able to help them.

There can be a lot of value in free, but it’s only valuable if that’s what you really need.

I’ve done it and I see others taking advantage of all the free because it might not be free later!

What if you believed that the free that you don’t really need right now will be available in some form or another when you’re at the place when you do need it?

What if that information IS available later, maybe just in a different form? And you don’t need to add more to your day to get it now?

What would your business and life look like if you truly believed that you could let go of what you don’t need right now and instead focused on where you are and what you need now? How would that feel?

Paint me a picture of what that looks like for you over in the comments below!

PS. If you’re having some problems figuring out what it is that you really need right now – be sure to read next week.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Businesswoman Looking Through Binoculars

What Are You Noticing?

March 21, 2013September 6, 2018 by EvieBurke, posted in perspective

Someone I respect and love recently posted a video for their upcoming program.

In person, I find them kind, warm and funny.

In the video, they were clearly trying to make a point and take a stand.

Which is good, right?

You want videos (and articles) to make a point and stand for something.

And maybe it’s only because I know them in person, but I couldn’t help but wonder – where is that kind, warm and funny person I know?

The person in the video is rehearsed and awkward.

Where is the smile and twinkle in the eye? How could have they brought more of that to the video?

It seemed too… perfect and planned… trying too hard.

And then I wondered: What does this say about me? Why am I noticing this? Why am I not appreciating the message being delivered, the stand this person is taking for what they believe in?

I came up with two answers:

I’m afraid of coming off as too rehearsed sometimes, too perfect and planned, trying too hard. Interestingly, I’m also afraid of coming across as unprepared or not prepared enough. Or somehow not sharing the warmth and kindness that I know I have.
Maybe this video is exactly what it needs to be. Maybe I don’t resonate with it because it’s not meant for me. Or maybe I’m so busy putting my “stuff” on someone else, that I’m not allowing the message to really sink in.

Why am I sharing this story with you?

It’s easy to be critical of someone or something else, easy notice that they’re doing it wrong.

After all, we see those things pointed out all the time – worst dressed lists, reality TV shows or someone casually saying “that’s not how I would have done it.” We expect it and we look for it so we have something to talk about with our family and friends.

What if we started looking at ourselves instead? No, I’m not suggesting you notice everything you perceive as wrong with yourself.

Instead, what if you asked yourself why you noticed what you noticed? In many cases, you’ll find that it’s (1) something you do yourself (or think you do) that you wish you didn’t do or (2) something you used to do and wish you hadn’t. Basically, there’s some self-judgment happening.

I challenge you to think about this and observe what you notice this week.

Share your thoughts in the comments below!