Blog

Behind every flinch is a fear or an anxiety - sometimes rational, sometimes not. Without the fear, there is no flinch. But wiping out the fear isn't what's important - facing it is. - Julien Smith, The Flinch

My Comfort Zone Shrunk

by EvieBurke, posted in comfort zone

Behind every flinch is a fear or an anxiety - sometimes rational, sometimes not. Without the fear, there is no flinch. But wiping out the fear isn't what's important - facing it is. - Julien Smith, The FlinchWhen I was around 14 a dog bit me on my leg. I still have a small scar.

The dog, Sparky, was one I knew well. He lived across the street and we (my sister and I) would go over and play with him.

On this particular summer day, I was walking home from babysitting and saw Sparky tied up in the front yard. He was barking at me and wagging his tail, excited to see me. So, I pet him and then turned to go home and that’s all I remember.

I’m told that I screamed and ran home. Sparky’s mom looked out the window when I screamed and came over to find out what happened (and called my mom). I was fine, just surprised. Sparky had pierced the skin, but it healed fine.

I developed a new fear though. Suddenly, I was a little apprehensive around dogs (which I had adored), I was even a bit tentative around my own dog for a bit.

Slowly, I worked through it. And I still adore dogs.

If you’ve been reading here for a bit, you know that this probably ties into business in some way and are waiting for it.

And yes, it does tie in. My comfort zone with all dogs shrunk that day. It took a little time and effort to expand that comfort zone back to where it had been.

Have you had a similar experience in your business?

Maybe you were burned by a client? Perhaps a “safe” phone call didn’t go anything like you expected?

Whatever your story is, your comfort zone shrunk. Maybe you didn’t even notice it at the time. But now you have a bit of apprehension when working with a new client or picking up the phone.

It’s natural, no one likes being hurt.

But like the quote in the image says “…wiping out the fear isn’t what’s important – facing it is.”

For me, that looked like spending time with my own dog. Approaching her, even when I felt apprehensive and trusting that her end of our relationship hadn’t change, only mine had.

Maybe for you that looks like making warm calls to people that have been happy to hear from you in the past. Or maybe it looks completely different.

This doesn’t mean you have to step completely outside your comfort zone. You can stretch it a little bit, just do one thing that puts you face to face with your fear, but in fairly safe way. And if you want a little help with that, just let me know.

When has your comfort zone shrunk and what did you do about it? I’d love it if you shared in the comments below!

Lots To Do! And Enough Time?

by EvieBurke, posted in Overwhelm, planning, Task List

Cup Of Hot CoffeeLast week I wrote about focusing on one task. The three steps to put your focus on the one thing you’re working on right now.

Well, I set up one day last week with no appointments so I could have the day to only get stuff done. Many of the items on my list that day where 30 minute tasks or less. So, I had about 15 items on my list.

Normally, I would tell a client (and myself) that 15 tasks are too many things! However, they were small tasks and I was pretty sure that there was enough time to do everything.

When I sat down at the beginning of the day, even though I knew they were smaller tasks, I wondered how I was possibly going to get everything done. It was a bit overwhelming to look at that list!

I reread my post for the week and decided to pull out my sticky notes. On those, I wrote the tasks that I wanted to complete in the next two hours. I wrote down four things, stuck it on top of my list of 15 and went to work. Somehow just looking at that smaller list was a lot more reassuring.

I didn’t have to have everything done now. I was able to focus on the current task and then move on to the next one quickly.

At the end of the day I didn’t have everything done. However, I learned a bit about what not to do in my day (don’t schedule reading a book, even a business book, after lunch because I won’t put it down after my allotted reading time is complete). And left enough wiggle room in that day’s and the next day’s schedule that it didn’t completely throw me for a loop the rest of the week.

And, when I reviewed what I accomplished, I felt extremely satisfied! I was able to get a lot done and address my overwhelm in a constructive way.

Because I like bullet points, this is the take away from my experience:

  • If your list looks too long and overwhelming, break it into smaller pieces. What will you finish in the next 2 hours?
  • Leave some buffer time in your day. Tasks can take longer than you anticipate or unexpected tasks or other things pop up. When you leave yourself some buffer time you’re able to absorb the unknown without it throwing you for a loop.
  • Review your day and make a note of what did and didn’t work that day. Use that knowledge of how you work best (or don’t work best) in future planning.
  • Review your day for your successes (or wins). We often forget this part. Pat yourself on the back for the things you accomplished, whether they are the tasks you completed, the way a situation was handled or the way you handled or managed yourself.

Basically, a successful day can be broken up into three parts: preparing, doing and reviewing (with today’s focus being on the preparing and reviewing).

Where do you get hung up with getting things done? Let me know in the comments below!

Image courtesy of nuttakit / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Want to Focus? Prepare, Relax, Do

by EvieBurke, posted in habits, motivation, planning

Relaxed_with_coffeeYou have a lot of things to do today, as usual, and your mind is running at 100 mph. When you start working on something, five other things that you could be doing pop into your head and break your focus.

How is it possible to focus on just one task on days like this? By Preparing, Relaxing and Doing!

Prepare

  1. Write down the task you’re going to work on and put it in front of you.
  2. Have another piece of paper handy to write down any other tasks that pop into your head while you’re working.

Relax

  1. Pay attention to your surroundings – close your eyes and listen. Notice what you hear, just listen to the sounds around you.
  2. Take a deep breath – breathe deeply and slowly.
  3. Feel your body – be present to it, notice where any tension is and imagine it melting away with each breath.
  4. Repeat as necessary.

Do

  1. Work on the task you wrote down.
  2. Anytime you think of something else that needs to be done, write it down and then return to your original task.

Why is Prepare, Relax, Do important?

When you look at your to-do list (or if you don’t have it written down, when you think about it), how do you feel? If you’re like many people I work with, you feel stressed and overwhelmed.

When you Prepare, Relax and Do:

  • you know what you’re doing right now, what your focus is.
  • you’re intentionally leaving the stress behind and allowing yourself to relax (this allows you to get more done and be more focused!).
  • you’re capturing the other things that need to be done when you think of them allowing you to:
    • not worry about forgetting that they need to be done
    • give yourself permission to do them later

Try it today and let me know how it goes for you in the comments below!

Also, repeat the Relax step any time you start to feel stressed or anxious. And if you want some personalized help with this and think working with me might be for you, just let me know by scheduling your own complimentary 30-minute Productivity Breakthrough Session here (this conversation takes place over the phone).

How Much Is Enough?

by EvieBurke, posted in Being Happy, Happiness

Hundred dollar billsUsually when we talk about enough, we ask ourselves something along the lines of: How much is enough money or enough possessions?

And in business the question might be: How much is enough success?

It’s almost a trick question though.

We tell ourselves: I’ll have enough when I meet this goal or reach this level. And then you’re almost there and you change the goal, you up the ante just a little bit.

The result? You never quite meet your goal – and that’s the nasty trick we play on ourselves a lot.

No wonder you’re frustrated and stressed out! You do all the work to meet that goal and once it is in sight, you move the goal just out of reach.

We do this with our time too, have you noticed?

We never have enough time to get everything done! And at the end of the day you’re not thinking about what you accomplished, you’re thinking about those tasks you didn’t have enough time to finish.

We have this pattern of raising the bar a little higher, so we never actually reach it.

And what happens when you have enough? Is that when you finally get to be happy? When your business is officially a success? Maybe it’s when you finally get to have a little more me time?

So, what is enough? That’s for you to decide. However, I challenge you to look at it a little differently.

The problem with asking, “When will I have enough _________?” is the question assumes that you currently don’t have enough!

What if you do have enough? What if you changed your focus slightly? What if you allowed yourself to be happy, successful and have me time exactly where you are right now?

What if enough isn’t something that’s out there but appreciating what you currently have?

This doesn’t mean that you don’t set goals for yourself and your business. It means you celebrate where you are and the steps you took to get here. And you look to the future for your next steps.

How does that feel? What does celebrating where you currently are change for you right now?

What does having and being enough, exactly right now change for you? What does it change for your business?

I’d love if you shared your thoughts in the comments below.

Wondering how you’ll ever go from feeling like you don’t have enough ______, to feeling like you do have enough _______? Wondering what’s getting in your way? This is exactly what the Productivity Insight Process reveals. Through this process, you’ll discover what beliefs and defaults are holding you back and how to change them. Find out more here.

Image courtesy of cooldesign / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Are You Over Complicating It?

by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, intention, Task List

exclamation girlHave you ever over complicated something? You realize later, or someone points out to you that you could have easily done y instead of x and saved yourself a lot of time and energy.

If you don’t catch it early, it’s frustrating, right?

Do you do that with your business?

You assume that a task or project is going to be difficult and you quickly prove yourself right. Until someone comes along and offers a suggestion that renders half of your plans obsolete and you wonder, could it really be that easy?

If you haven’t already read last week’s article, “How Do You Want Your Morning to Feel?” go back and read it.

I wrote about two morning scenarios. Some of you might have read the second one and thought, “That’s a great dream, but it’s just not possible for me.”

I get it. Between you and me, I’ve had that same thought before. Mine sounded like “Planning is a great idea, but I just don’t have time for that!”

What if you’re over complicating your business? What if it’s hard to get everything done because that’s exactly what you expect?

Our brains like to be right. So, often just thinking “hey, this is going to be difficult” makes something feel, well, difficult.

Now, I’m not suggesting that you just start telling yourself, “hey, this easy and I’ll get everything done today” Your brain is smart, it’s not going to believe that.

Does this mean that you’re going to get that page long to-do list done today? Probably not, however, what would change if you looked at your page long to-do list and instead of thinking, “Ugh! I have so much to do it seems impossible!” you thought, “Great! I know what needs to happen over the next few days, what can I do today?”

But what if you started asking yourself, “What if this was easy?” And left yourself open to that possibility. Or asked yourself, “What would I do differently if this were easy?”

Allow the possibilities. Invest a few minutes of your time to sit with it and allow yourself to feel the possibility.

And let me know what you discover in the comments below.