In the last couple of weeks I gave a couple of examples of what looking away might look like for you when networking and looking away by looking toward something else.
What is another way to notice where you’re looking away?
It requires attention, patience and love.
Attention
Notice where you stop. Where do you distract yourself? Where do you say “that’s just me” or “it wasn’t meant to be” or anything like that?
It doesn’t mean that it’s not true, but sometimes we move on too quickly without taking a moment to see if there’s something more there. Without asking am I looking away?
Patience
Be patient and kind with yourself.
Noticing where you’re looking away will not immediately cause you to stop.
It’s a process and not a switch you can just turn off or on.
Allow yourself time to notice it again and again. You’ll start noticing it sooner and be in the position to chose a different way to act. Said another way, you’ll be able to look at it longer and move through it.
Love
Chances are that looking away has served you well in the past – perhaps as a child you learned it was best not to ask questions or challenge adults.
Love and thank that part of you that looked after you so well for so long.
And lovingly, but firmly, tell it that you’ve got this now and can handle it (again, it’s a process, you’ll do this over and over again).
Support (bonus step and important)
Finally, allow yourself to be supported.
This process can leave you feeling raw and/or wanting to talk with someone. Hire a coach, join a mastermind of people doing similar internal work – find what works for you AND engage in the process with them.
I have no question to leave you with today. This is highly personal work. So, I invite you to share whatever you’d like in the comments below.
This was very insightful! It’s fun learning about things that I’ve never heard about before. Great getting awareness of your expertise!