attitude – Page 4 – One Insight Closer

Do the work and keep showing up

July 10, 2014August 1, 2018 by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, Changes, engaged

Last week’s topic was about the shift that takes us from beating ourselves up to celebrating where we are and doing the work with less frustration and more ease.

But what causes that shift? What leads to the change in perspective?

This is where I’d argue we really want that magic pill – a pill for that change in perspective. Something that takes us from frustrated and overworked to excited about what’s next.

About a year ago I joined a program that I had a gut feeling would help me grow my business in a way that worked for me (meaning I wouldn’t have to start doing things that just felt ick to me, but work wonderfully for others). Yes, the idea of a shift was in the back of my mind, but it wasn’t primarily what I was looking for.

I remember getting on a Q&A call near the beginning of the program, wanting the exact steps that I needed to take that would lead instantly to clients and more money coming in.

Christine didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear – she told me what I needed to hear: keep doing the work, keep showing up.

I was deflated. I knew she was right, but I wanted results NOW. And, as I learned, this is a very common question and problem – wanting the results packaged in a set of easily performed steps.

I did the work and I kept showing up. Without even realizing it, things started to shift.

Then something else amazing happened, I started getting a few more clients here and there.

So what happened? What caused the shift? How did I change?

I did the work and kept showing up.

And what the heck does that even mean?!

It means that I worked on the foundation of my business, I worked on being clear about how I help entrepreneurs (beyond the “this is how the program works”), I focused on one or two ways that I wanted to meet the people who would become my clients, I figured out what worked for me and what didn’t and I played with various habits to support me – I did the work.

I started paying attention again to where I stopped, revisited what I really wanted and I listened to every training and Q&A call with the intention of not just listening, but being engaged – I kept showing up.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.
– Zig Ziglar

Or, said another way:

It’s that becoming that people notice. It shows up in small ways: how you hold yourself and talk – your confidence and clarity. And you don’t even realize it’s happening at first.

Do the work and keep showing up.

What does doing the work and keep showing up look like for you? Share in the comments!

Doing the work, success, comparing and energy

July 3, 2014July 3, 2014 by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, comparisons, perspective

In the past, I’ve written about magic pills – how sometimes all you want is someone to just tell you what to do so you can follow the predefined steps and have instant success and income.

In some part of you brain, you know that it’s not possible – but it doesn’t always stop you from looking.

Sometimes you jump into something that looks and feels like it is exactly what we need. But it doesn’t work the way you want. AND then it gets even more frustrating because you see someone else having the success that YOU want following the same steps (or program) that you are.

Let’s talk about why that happens.

You’ve joined this program that’s going to teach you everything you need to know to be successful in that area of your business that you’re struggling with. And in this program you meet Joan. She’s been in business for about as long as you have and you feel like you’re in about the same place – similar frustrations and struggles.

You and Joan are both fully engaged in the program, faithfully doing each step. Only you realize halfway through the program that Joan seems to be having more success!

You’re stunned! You’re following the same steps and doing the same work. Why aren’t you having the same success – or more!

Then you start comparing and wondering: What’s different? Does she have a better business model? Maybe her city is just better suited for her type of business than yours is? Is she more outgoing? Have a better network? Have friends better suited to help her out?

You’re looking for all the reasons you can think of for why she’s doing better. And you’re getting mad that the cards are stacked in her favor (and against you).

And then something changes, a perspective shift. You start thinking about and writing down what YOU are and aren’t doing. You take ownership of your results, both the good (that you’ve been glossing over because they weren’t Joan good) and the bad (that you’ve been alternating obsessing about and ignoring).

Suddenly, you’re not mad at or jealous of Joan anymore. You’re excited for her!

And your energy has shifted. You don’t even notice it at first – instead you noticed people behaving different around you, conversations are easier and you’re having more fun in your business.

You’re doing the work, but a little differently than you were before. Now you’re looking at the same steps and same work with a new set of eyes and it’s making a difference.

And your business – you’re serving more people and making more money – basically, you love it and are excited for where you’ll go with it next!

What’s your dream for your business? Whether 6 months out or 3 years! Share in the comments below.

A great place to network (sorry guys)

June 5, 2014June 5, 2014 by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, networking

I’m writing this from the hotel of the event/conference I’m at. I wrote something last week (that you’ll see next week) so I wouldn’t need to do this.

However, sometimes you have a realization that you just have to share.

My realization: some of the best networking happens in the line to the women’s bathroom (sorry guys!).

Think about it. You probably have a few minutes together with nothing else to do but look at the ceiling, floor or walls. Why not enjoy the company of those around you!

And it’s probably the easiest place to say “Hi” too. Just turn around and introduce yourself (Hi, I’m [name]). She’ll introduce herself, you can ask her what her business is and you’re off! Don’t forget to ask for a card.

Oh, and if you’ve been given a name tag where your name slides in and you clip it to your shirt or lanyard, then slide some of your cards behind your name and put the cards of your new friends there too.

Don’t forget to write down when and where you met them! You remember now, but by the time you get home it will have all muddled together.

Where do you notice the best networking happens? Share in the comments below!

Make a decision and then make it right

May 29, 2014May 28, 2014 by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, Complaining

“Make a decision and then make it right.”
(Google tells me that it’s part of a quote from Abraham-Hicks)

I don’t remember where or when I first heard this, but it’s always resonated with me. I take the meaning to be that once you’ve made a decision, commit to it and spend your energy moving forward as if it’s the right decision (and don’t second guess yourself).

It’s the difference between these two attitudes:

What can I learn?
Prove it to me. (Prove that this is worth my time/money.)

Have you experienced both of these? Or maybe seen how each attitude plays out in someone else (sometimes it’s a lot easier to see it in someone else first).

The person with the “prove it to me” attitude is evaluating everything and waiting for something useful to be handed directly to them. At an event they’re complaining about what isn’t working for them – their seat, that last section or even how lunch was handled. And in a program they might be complaining about how the information was delivered or complaining about how it won’t work for them (or hasn’t worked in the past).

The person with the “what can I learn” attitude has on a completely different pair of glasses – their view is much different. They’re also evaluating, but instead of waiting for something useful to be handed to them, they’re looking at everything and looking at how it might apply to them – now or later. They’re enjoying where they are right now, wherever that is.

Let me be clear though, having the “what can I learn” attitude doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It can also involve recognizing that something doesn’t work for you or isn’t right for you.

The difference is how this is handled.

The “prove it to me” attitude will complain about it and be unhappy.

The “what can I learn” attitude will learn from it and decide what they can do to make it work for them now or how to avoid the situation in the future.

Two people, at similar places in their businesses (and even in similar businesses) can go to the same event (or conference or program or anything) and have completely different experiences based on the attitude they go in with.

Who do you think walks away with the better experience?

Which attitude do you find yourself approaching events or conferences with?

Two Wolves and Your Business

May 2, 2014May 19, 2014 by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, Complaining, Self Care

Have you heard the story of the two wolves that a grandfather tells his grandson? (no, this isn’t a set up for a joke)

If you’re not familiar with the story, here it is:

An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice, “Let me tell you a story.

I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do.

But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times.”

He continued, “It is as if there are two wolves inside me.

One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.

But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing.

Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit.”

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather’s eyes and asked, “Which one wins, Grandfather?”

The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, “The one I feed.”

As I was thinking about this story I thought about the stories we tell ourselves. When you talk with others about how your day went or how you’re doing, you tell a story. When you’re reviewing how an event or meeting went, you’re telling a story. When you’re thinking about your to-do list or planning your day, you’re telling a story. When you talk about how your business is doing, you’re telling a story.

It’s how we’re all wired. It’s not bad, it’s not good, it just is.

Our stories feed us and that determines which wolf gets fed. Are you telling stories of an angry world full of people out to get you, or are you telling stories of a friendly place where there’s enough for everyone?

And what about the stories other people tell? Do they feed you? Yes, if you let them. It’s like someone serving you dinner. If you don’t like it you can be “polite” and eat it anyway – or not. Is it rude to not eat what’s in front of you? Well, if you have a peanut allergy and someone gives you food with peanuts in it, is it rude to not eat it? No, it’s not. Determining whose stories you listen to is similar. It’s okay to say “I don’t agree” or find another conversation.

So, for your business – what are you feeding it? What stories do you tell yourself and others about it? And are those the stories that you want to feed your business?

And what stories are you letting other people feed you and your business? Where do you find yourself agreeing with someone without thinking about it?

Share in the comments below!