Category: attitude

What do you really control?

by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, Complaining, perspective

ClickForControlHave you ever noticed how much we don’t have control over? We can’t control the weather, our friends and family or other drivers.

Sometimes this can be rather frustrating. Where is spring? Why is it still chilly here? Why is that person tailgating me? Who’s going to be nice and let me change lanes?

So, it’s natural to nod our heads in agreement when someone says that being in control of our lives is just an illusion. After all, just look at the list of things you can’t control. The list of things you and I can’t control is infinite.

But there is one thing everyone does have control of in all situations. You are in control of how you choose to react in each situation you’re in or observe.

You get to choose whether the guy tailgating you annoys the heck out of you or not. You get to choose to complain about the cold day or enjoy the fact that the sun is out.  You get to make those decisions every single day.

So, is control an illusion? I guess it depends on what you’re trying to control.

Are you trying to control the situation or your reaction to the situation? I find it’s less stressful for me when I make the decision to control my reaction, rather than the situation.

What do you think? Share in the comments below.

The Feel Good File

by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, comfort zone, motivation

Young woman holding a fileHave you ever had days where you just wanted to sit on the couch under a warm blanket and watch TV (or YouTube) all day?

Okay, so maybe your do-nothing inclinations look different than mine, but you know what I mean.

I’m not talking about the days where you just need a break and some personal time to yourself.

I’m talking about the days where you just are tired and don’t want to do anything. Those days when your business just seems like so-much-WORK.

Now these days can be a result of any number of things. Being overtired, coming up against your comfort zone, or it can be you’ve just ran out of oomph.

What do you do on those days? How do you get your momentum going again?

There are any number of things you can do. I even wrote a blog post a while ago on throwing yourself a pity party and there are a couple of great ideas there.

However today, I’m proposing something else.

I’m proposing a “motivation file” or “feel good file.”

Did you do the exercise in early December about where you’ll be in a year? Make a copy of it and put it in the file. (If you haven’t done that exercise, take some time and do it! And feel free to send it to me.)

Have you ever gotten a thank you note from a client or prospective client? Or maybe an email? The unsolicited kind are great mood lifters.

However, those testimonials that you’ve asked for are pretty great too (if you don’t have any you should! That should be part of your system with your clients).

Take those notes, print out those testimonials and put them in that file.

Now, anytime you’re find yourself with no oomph and want some momentum, pull out that file, read through it and remember that you have some pretty great goals and do some pretty great work. And you get to work with some pretty great people and they’re grateful that you’re there doing your work.

Feeling good? Heck yeah!

What else will you put in your “feel good file”?

Are You Over Complicating It?

by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, intention, Task List

exclamation girlHave you ever over complicated something? You realize later, or someone points out to you that you could have easily done y instead of x and saved yourself a lot of time and energy.

If you don’t catch it early, it’s frustrating, right?

Do you do that with your business?

You assume that a task or project is going to be difficult and you quickly prove yourself right. Until someone comes along and offers a suggestion that renders half of your plans obsolete and you wonder, could it really be that easy?

If you haven’t already read last week’s article, “How Do You Want Your Morning to Feel?” go back and read it.

I wrote about two morning scenarios. Some of you might have read the second one and thought, “That’s a great dream, but it’s just not possible for me.”

I get it. Between you and me, I’ve had that same thought before. Mine sounded like “Planning is a great idea, but I just don’t have time for that!”

What if you’re over complicating your business? What if it’s hard to get everything done because that’s exactly what you expect?

Our brains like to be right. So, often just thinking “hey, this is going to be difficult” makes something feel, well, difficult.

Now, I’m not suggesting that you just start telling yourself, “hey, this easy and I’ll get everything done today” Your brain is smart, it’s not going to believe that.

Does this mean that you’re going to get that page long to-do list done today? Probably not, however, what would change if you looked at your page long to-do list and instead of thinking, “Ugh! I have so much to do it seems impossible!” you thought, “Great! I know what needs to happen over the next few days, what can I do today?”

But what if you started asking yourself, “What if this was easy?” And left yourself open to that possibility. Or asked yourself, “What would I do differently if this were easy?”

Allow the possibilities. Invest a few minutes of your time to sit with it and allow yourself to feel the possibility.

And let me know what you discover in the comments below.

How Do You Want Your Morning To Feel?

by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, Default Setting, engaged, Happiness, motivation

Portrait_Of_Pensive_WomanIt’s the beginning of your workday and you’re already frustrated and tired. You pull yourself away from your email and think about everything that has to be done today. You should make a to-do list, but quite frankly, you just don’t have time for that.

So, you mentally go through the list kept in your head and pick the most urgent task. 30-minutes in you remember that you promised to email something to someone you met networking yesterday. That should be a quick 5 minute task, so you start doing that. It takes a bit longer then expected to pull that information together and 20 minutes and a Facebook check later you’re trying to remember what you were working on at the beginning of the morning.

You get frustrated because you don’t have time to sit around trying to remember what you were doing! You suddenly think of something else that needs to get done and 15 minutes into that task you remember what you were working on earlier.

You’ve only been working for a couple hours and you’re already exhausted and frustrated and you have this nagging feeling that you’re forgetting a really important task. Annoyed, you get up and go to the kitchen to make yourself a cup of coffee, maybe that will jog your memory.

But really, wouldn’t it be nice if your morning looked like this:

It’s the beginning of your workday and you’re calm, collected and a bit excited to get started! You look at the to-do list you created for yourself last night. There’s a couple high priority tasks that you want to do and some phone calls and emails to send.

Good thing you have systems in place for these things.The highest priority task is for a presentation late next week that you almost forgot about and some of your phone calls are to reconnect with people you talked to a few months ago – you would have totally forgot!

You smile thinking about the possible opportunities that will present themselves today and start with your highest priority task, thinking about the people that will benefit from your presentation next week as you work.

After a couple hours (and a quick break for water) you’re done with the first draft of your presentation. You put it away and head to the kitchen for a snack and a break. You’re feeling happy and looking forward to the rest of your day.

Which scenario most looks like your morning right now? Which one do you want it to be?

There’s more going on here than one person took the time to plan their day and the other didn’t. That’s more a symptom than the cause of the exhaustion and frustration.

And it’s not that one person is just more driven than the other, more committed to success (although some people might disagree with me).

The energy between the two mornings is completely different. The first morning is stressful, scattered and tiring, while the second morning is calm, confident and focused.

So, if the planning and to-do lists are just a symptom or side effect, what are they a symptom of?

Take a look at the difference in language between the two. The first morning is full of have to‘s and should‘s, with feelings of worry and stress. The second morning is want to‘s and opportunities, with feelings of excitement and focus.

Again, the language is a symptom, but it get’s us closer. Your language can give you insights to your thoughts and beliefs that might not immediately be obvious. The first morning’s thoughts and beliefs are around not having enough time. While the second morning’s thoughts and beliefs are about opportunities and effortless focus. It doesn’t even occur to her that there’s not enough time.

So, what can you do? One small change you can make is to update your language. When you hear yourself say “I have to” or “I need to” change it to “I want to.” If that seems impossible, ask what would need to happen to be able to change that to an “I want to”?

And of course there are other things you can do too. In the Productivity Insight Process I go deep with you into these topics. We identify exactly where you are and I give you a personalized suggestions for how to shift from the stressful day you’re currently having to the calm, opportunity filled one that you want.

Share with me below what your morning looks like, or what you’re going to change.

Image courtesy of iconmac / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What Do You Want Done?

by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, Responsibility, Today

ChecklistIf you could only get one thing done today what would it be? Would it be something for your business? family? personal?

Would you start that project you’ve been thinking about? Or maybe you’d finish that project you’ve been trying NOT to think about?

Would you take that book that you want to finish and curl up on the couch or head to a park and spend the afternoon reading?

Maybe you’d treat yourself to some pampering or call up a friend and catch up or go out to dinner.

Would you take your kids out for ice cream or a movie, just because?

Would you pick up your significant other early from work and spend some much needed alone time with them? Or maybe plan an impromptu date night?

What would you really like to be doing? What’s stopping you?

Are you too busy? Can’t find a babysitter? Can’t afford it? Admit it, those are just excuses.

How can you still have that experience that you want and work with the constraints you might have?

Too busy? What’s your real priority? How can you free up some time?

Can’t find a babysitter? When is the babysitter available? Work with her/his schedule. Alternatively, can you include your kids in the experience?

Can’t afford it? Can you have a similar experience from home or a park?

Now, these questions might be helpful for what you want to get done today or the reasons (or excuses) that it’s not getting done. Hopefully, these questions provide a starting point.

So, if you only got one thing done today, what would it be? Share in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Rawich / FreeDigitalPhotos.net