attitude – Page 3 – One Insight Closer

Woman thinking: How do you think this was perceived?

First vs lasting impressions

February 5, 2015February 12, 2015 by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, perspective

A couple weeks ago I shared a story about a woman attending a new networking group, it not being quite what she expected and her leaving. You can read it here.

This week let’s go over the second question: How do you think this was perceived by the two ladies remaining?

First impressions are an interesting thing, but not the only thing.

After all, the very first impression she made was a good one.

She walked in pleasant and smiling and very clear about what she did and who she served. She came prepared with not only business cards, but a brochure!

She was interested in the other women there and the group. She asked all the questions you’d expect someone new to ask and was conversational.

And then she said she had to leave, I have all those things to do back at the office — I’m so sorry. And left.

The women remaining looked at each other and shrugged after she left — apparently building a business relationship with the two of us wasn’t high on the agenda today…

The first impression was good, but the one they left with — well, I bet she won’t be coming to mind anytime soon for a referral from either of them.

And the lasting impression she left wasn’t probably what she was thinking about as she walked out the door.

Maybe the work on her desk was more important then the lasting impression she left or maybe it wasn’t. Or maybe she got caught up in the conversation in her head and the uncomfortableness she was feeling and found an escape route.

The maybe’s don’t really matter.

The fact is she left, and that wasn’t good or bad — it was an action that she decided to take.

And the remaining ladies reacted also isn’t good or bad — it’s their perception of that action.

The easy thing to do here is suggest you think about how you’ll be perceived before you make any decisions (staying, going or otherwise).

But that won’t server you. You’ll never be able to leave a 100% positive impression on 100% of the people you meet.

And trying to do that will drive you batty and you’ll always be stuck in your head.

Instead before you walk into events, think about how you want to be (set an intention). What do you want to feel (or embody)?

Then, if you’re at a meeting or event that isn’t a good fit, check back with yourself — if I were fully embodying the intention I set, what would that look like? Would I stay or would I go?

Have you ever left a bad impression on someone and was okay with it? Or maybe you didn’t realize it until later? Share in the comments here.

Walking in nervous

January 29, 2015February 5, 2015 by EvieBurke, posted in attitude

Last week I shared a story about a woman attending a new networking group and it not being quite what she expected. You can read it here.

Let’s go over first question: Would you do anything differently?

First let’s back up and look at what was happening even before she walked in the door. She was nervous and thinking about all the things she could be doing if she wasn’t going to the event.

This is pretty normal. You’re nervous about something and another part of your brain wants the uncomfortableness to stop, so it gives you something you can easily use as a reason to not do the uncomfortable thing.

The problem with this is it gets us stuck up in our head and that can make it more difficult to connect with people.

One thing you can do differently before you walk into an event is take a deep breath and picture something that brings you peace or calm (a person, place, thing, animal or color – whatever works for you).

You know what that does? It pulls you out of your head and into your heart. It helps you connect with people and worry less about all that other stuff waiting for you later.

It’s important to do it before you walk into the room because it’s difficult to remember to do it after you walk into the room.

When you do it before, you walk into the room with a different energy and people notice.

And when you walk in with this energy – things like the hostess not being sure there is a group, the group being much smaller than you anticipated or realizing the one person you know isn’t there – the surprises don’t throw you. Your brain doesn’t jump to the best excuse it can think of (your ever growing to-do list) to get you the heck out.

Have you noticed a difference when you (or someone else) takes a moment to take a deep breath before a networking event?

Share in the comments below.

It doesn’t matter how slowly you go…

January 8, 2015January 8, 2015 by EvieBurke, posted in attitude

My immediate thought for this article was to share something about how to plan your year or how to stick to that plan.

And then I remembered what my Facebook and LinkedIn feeds look like – not to mention my inbox!

It seems that everyone is posting around these topics.

It makes sense, it’s the beginning of a new year (heck, I’ve done it).

And I generally read the articles and pull from them what works for me (I recommend you do the same, you don’t have to follow each outlined step if it doesn’t work for how you work!).

Also, I’ve had at least two conversations this week with people around having the best intentions to jump right into work this week and accomplish a lot. Only to realize that they either need a break now that the holidays have passed or they need to relearn the habits that they had mastered before the holidays.

Wherever you are this week – diving right in or slowly easing yourself back into the water – know that it’s OK!

You are exactly where you need to be right now. Evaluate what worked and what didn’t and make small adjustments next week.

And I’d love to know which article around planning your year (or sticking to your plan) resonated most with you. Share in the comments below (I’ve shared mine there!).

…and you can still have a great experience

July 25, 2014July 25, 2014 by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, Dream, engaged

Have you ever wanted to fully experience something, but for whatever reason, not been able to experience it in the way you pictured it?

Last year at this time I wanted to be in Asheville, North Carolina, with everyone else in the program I had just joined. It was the first retreat for most of us – the energy and excitement was high.

And I chose not to go.

I could say I couldn’t go, but it was a choice I made. I chose to stay home and honor other commitments.

And I really felt like I was missing out on an important experience.

I really wanted that experience and one of my intentions for the program was to be engaged and participate. This showed up in different ways – participating on the forum, listening to the training calls and being on every Q&A call I could be on, even when I didn’t have a question.

So, I looked for other ways I could still be engaged and participate in the retreat. Thus, the Google Hangout idea was born – I’d have my own version of the retreat at home!

The videos and exercises for the retreat were posted a week or two later and I reached out to the group looking for other people who couldn’t attend and wanted to do it virtually with me.

We watched the videos on our own, did the exercises and then came together for about two hours each for two days. A total of four people participated, three people each day.

It was great! We all received some great feedback on the exercises and were able to provide feedback for others.

What’s my point?

Sometimes things don’t go as planned. You can’t go to the event, the goal isn’t met or priorities change.

And you can still have a great experience.

Think back to the last time something didn’t go the way you wanted it to.

What was your intention?
If you didn’t have one, what were you hoping for? What would reaching that goal have meant to you?
How can you honor that intention? How can you still experience that?
What can you do, even small toward that? (Small wins are still wins!) And what can you change or modify going forward based on this experience?
Do it!
So many times we think about the small things we could do for ourselves, but don’t in favor of other “important” tasks. I encourage you to take some time out of you day or week to honor yourself and your intention. Just because something doesn’t happen the way you thought it would, doesn’t mean you can’t experience it another way.

How do might you apply this? Share in the comments below!

How you do anything is how you do everything…

July 18, 2014July 19, 2014 by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, Default Setting, perspective, the gym

Note: I’m fine and well taken care of. Details of my “episodes” are at the end of the post (I share because I know you might be curious, not because I’m looking for advice).

I had an episode at the gym last month – a bad one by my standards (I don’t know what it is by other’s). It was a bathroom trip, juice box, another bathroom trip, lay down on the floor and have an ice pack episode.

And then I felt fine for the rest of the day.

I haven’t had an episode like that for a long time – over a year? I can usually feel them coming.

As it was happening, part of me noticed the pronounced difference in how I was handling it this time as opposed to the last time I had a fairly bad episode.

Last time I just wanted to sit in the bathroom – I didn’t feel well and thought I was going to be sick.

And I wanted someone to just take care of me, to fix it and make it all better.

When Karen (my personal trainer) came to check on me I really appreciated it, and I wasn’t sure that leaving the bathroom and having a juice box was really what I needed, but I trusted her and followed her advice.

And I felt better.

In my business at the time, it was similar – I wanted someone to give me the exact steps to follow and just make it all better. Heck, I wanted someone to just tell me what direction to go!

At the same time, I wasn’t sure that the direction or steps anyone was giving me were really going to work, but I did them anyway.

That process took longer than the juice box…

Fast forward to last month.

I’m feeling sick and like I should just head to the bathroom. I know a juice box will help, but I need to go to the bathroom – so I go.

And as I sit there feeling sick, I also know that I need to get up and have a juice box. I want to get up, even though I don’t feel like it.

So I go.

Under the watchful and caring eyes of Karen and Donna (the workout room attendant) – I have a juice box.

I still feel ill, but also a slight bit better.

I have to go to the bathroom again. I try to be quick because I know that staying in there too long isn’t what I need AND because Karen and Donna are worrying about me.

As I’m washing my hands, Karen comes in to check on me – making sure I haven’t passed out or something – I’m grateful.

I head back out and sit down.

Donna asks if I want to lie down on a weight bench. I opt instead for a mat on the floor – something I won’t potentially fall off of.

Karen gets a couple of ice packs, no longer asking if I want one – just knowing it’s what I need, even when I don’t. I take them, one for my neck and one for my forehead.

Now I am starting to feel better – I start joking with Karen and Donna.

Karen says the color has returned to my face.

I move back to the chair and sit for another ten minutes, just to make sure I’m okay to drive home and Karen starts her own workout.

The episode passed in under 15 minutes and I’m heading out the door at about the 25 minute mark.

In my business, things have also changed a lot.

I’m no longer looking for anyone to take my hand and tell me the direction I should be heading.

I chose my own direction and when I need or want help, I have trusted people (coaches and fellow entrepreneurs) to ask. And I modify what I learn to work for me and where I am.

I’m no longer looking for a savior or magic pill from the outside (well, we all have bad days).

Instead I’m looking and finding support and resources to help me take the needed/wanted steps and occasionally suggest something else that I’m blind to or simply don’t know about.

How we do anything is how we do everything. I’d add – especially under stress.

I have two questions for you today, I’d love if you’d answer one or both of them in the comments below:

How do you react under stress and how do you want to react?
How have you grown in the past year or so?

Episode details: My personal trainer and I believe the episodes are caused by a sugar crash in my body. I have been tested and I’m not diabetic or hypoglycemic, but a juice box generally brings the color back to my face pretty dang quickly.

The episodes are brought on by lots of heavy cardio where my heart rate is elevated a bit higher than a normal workout. Generally, at around the 10-15 minute mark I can feel the telltale signs that an episode is coming and Karen will notice I’ve gone a bit pale. When that happens I sit down and generally have a juice box. Then my color returns and I feel fine.

These episodes are not a regular occurrence. The bad ones, as described above, happen maybe once a year. The less severe ones (when I notice it coming earlier) happen maybe 2-3 times a year.