I’m a worrier. I worry about a lot of things. Things like am I prepared for this, what if something goes wrong, will they like me (interestingly, I don’t worry if I’ll like them), am I dressed appropriately, etc. I realized the other day that in response to my worrying, I tend to make plans.
For example, I worry about money, so I plan out a budget and do my best to stick to it. I worry about being bored on trips (especially on planes), so I pack plenty of things to do. I remember going on vacation as a kid and having a whole bag full of things to do (and being small enough that it fit on the floor in front of me because my feet didn’t quite hit the floor).
In those examples, I’d argue that my worrying had a good result, I planned in order to avoid the situation I worried about. However, what about those things that you can’t plan for? The worries of: will they like me or what if something goes wrong? What do you do then?
Honestly, I still battle this and I heard a quote last week that I’m sure I have heard before, but it never really registered.
“Fiddle-dee-dee! I won’t worry about that today. I’ll worry about that tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day!” ~ Scarlett O’Hara
It really struck me. Procrastination we can use! Imagine that. So, next time you find yourself worrying about something ask yourself two questions: 1) Can I plan for it? 2) If not, can I worry about it tomorrow? If so, repeat the questions tomorrow!
It sounds kind of silly, right? Let’s take a look at two examples.
Will they like me?
- Can I plan for it? Well, no not really.
- If not, can I worry about it tomorrow? Absolutely.
- Repeat steps 1 and 2 tomorrow!
What if something goes wrong?
- Can I plan for it? I’ve done all the planning I can do!
- If not, can I worry about it tomorrow? Yep.
- Repeat steps 1 and 2 tomorrow.
The beauty of this is it gives you permission to stop worrying about it! And a way to legitimately worry about it tomorrow (and in this case tomorrow never coming is a good thing!).
What do you do to stop worrying?
I love that idea to stop worrying… I do something which has a similiar effect. I tell my mind, thank you very much for sharing your concerns. I know you are just trying to keep me safe, however the things you are talking about really are not likely to happen and if they do I will just deal with it then. So quiet down in there and let’s just deal with what we know is true.
Self talk! Sooner or later it becomes habit so you don’t even have to go through the exercise to get to the result of not worrying.
I LOVE that Melanie! Self talk is so very important!
I think this post was written for me. I worry and plan and worry and plan and worry and plan – to the point that I look up and realize I’m spending so much time worrying that I’m not living.
I know I should stop. I know I should set a time to do this, this and this and then just enjoy life, but I find it hard sometimes. I will conquer this!! I will find a way to let go of it!
Great Post! Thank you for sharing,
TAM
Hi Tammy, I’m glad you found the post useful!
I used to be a big worrier, but what helped me was prayer. When I’m tempted to worry about something, whether I can plan for it or not, I pray first. And always, the answer comes or I feel peace about it. Your post is a great reminder for me to continue this practice.
Roz, prayer is a great way to deal with worrying! Thanks!
Evie: I am such a worrier and I come from a long line of worriers and unfortunately I passed it down to my children.
I have been able to manage my worry gene with your suggestions as well. I also journal about my worries and then intentionally say: I close my worry with the closing of my journal.
Works for me. Thanks for writing about worry I need a reminder!
Maureen, a journal about your worries is a great tool! I love that you close your worry with the closing of your journal.
I’m not much of a worrier myself. I leave it up to God and I understand what ever happens, happens. I will ask myself this question if I feel any worry coming along…”Is there anything I can do about it right now?” If the answer is no, then no need to worry. I’ll share a post with you from my site about worry (for the believers) that I found and reposted. http://yourchristianmarriagerestorationstation.com/4-reasons-worry
Great question to ask Rhonda!