Tag: fact

In my last post I asked what facts about yourself are no longer true? And what facts do you want to change?

Take a couple of minutes to think about one of those facts. No really, do it, I’ll be here when you’re ready.

Now that you have a fact or two. Let’s talk about a way to change those facts.

What are the messages you give yourself around these facts? Now, what message do you want to give yourself? This one can be tricky, because I know I automatically want to say that opposite of my old fact. However, as my coach points out, when we do that our subconscious can sabotage us because it’s going, “yeah right.” My old fact was “I’m uncoordinated.” So, saying “I’m coordinated” doesn’t really ring true. Sure, that’s how I want to feel or be, but I’ve spent a lot of time believing I’m uncoordinated, so saying the opposite isn’t going to magically make it true.

So, think about what if this fact wasn’t true? How do you behave? What do you experience? Who do you get to be? And replace your old fact with the new truth. It should be something that rings true for you.

For me, being coordinated meant better hand/eye coordination, but it also meant not being ashamed of myself when I couldn’t easily do something that I perceived my peers could easily do. So, if I was coordinated it meant that I could be more comfortable in my own skin and know I could easily keep up with everyone around me. So, a new truth I could have replaced my old fact with is “I’m strong and capable.” That rang true.

Actually, “I’m strong and capable” was an affirmation that I regularly used. I repeated it to myself over and over again before important or stressful meetings. I wanted to be more confident, but saying “I’m confident” didn’t feel true. “I’m strong and capable” felt true and reassuring. I also thought about how it felt emotionally and physically to be strong and capable. So, going into those meetings I would sit straighter, talk calmly and clearly and stay on topic.

What does your new truth feel like emotionally and physically? Use both that and the words as you work on replacing old facts.

If you’re having problems with coming up with a new truth, ask yourself why you want to replace your old fact. So, why do you want to be coordinated? Once you have an answer, ask yourself why again and keep going as long as you can. You’ll emotionally (and maybe physically) feel it when you get to the end. You might find you have a different fact you want to change.

When I was in high school I was tall and extremely uncoordinated. Adults who didn’t know me well would ask if I played basketball and encourage me to start when they found out I didn’t. After all, I was tall. I would tell them that I wasn’t very coordinated, so the basketball team probably wouldn’t want me and try to leave the conversation very quickly.

“I’m very uncoordinated” was a message that quite frequently played itself in my head. Run my book bag into something or someone: “Sorry, I’m just uncoordinated.” Drop something: “Oops, uncoordinated!”

At some point I stopped saying this to myself and others on a regular basis, but if it came up I would still have completely agreed with it. The funny thing is, at some point over the last several years something odd started to happen. When I would drop something, or knock something over I was sometimes able to catch it. While I no longer carry a book bag, I generally have a large purse with me and I don’t run it into people. And I can (usually) stand on one foot and put a sock on the other without falling over. All of that and I was still wasn’t coordinated!

Well, that’s what I told myself. I’ve recently realized that despite what I’ve been telling myself – I am coordinated. I’m not exactly sure when it changed, but I do know that I’ve unintentionally been working on it for a while. How? Well, I’m in better physical shape than I was in high school and much more aware of my surroundings.

When I realized that saying “I’m uncoordinated” was no longer true, I wondered what other facts about me are no longer (if they ever were) true. I’ve found a couple and am keeping my eye out for more.

I also realized that if I had wanted to I could have become more coordinated while in high school with a little bit of work (regardless of my lack of interest in joining the basketball team). So, what facts about me do I want to change now? I’m working on creating that list.

So, what facts about you are no longer true? And what facts do you want to change?