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What! More Work?

by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, Complaining

There was a time of my life when I absolutely dreaded being called into someone’s office, because it generally meant one of three things:

  1. I was going to be given more work to do (I already had too much to do and not enough time to do it).
  2. I was going to sit through a meeting that wasn’t going to do anything for me other than take time away from my other tasks.
  3. I was going to be “yelled at” for something falling through the cracks because I was working on other higher priority issues and now this thing was the high priority.

No option was something I wanted to spend my time on.

In this and the next two posts I’ll go through one option and review how I reacted and an alternate that might have made me (and the people around me happier).

1. I was going to be given more work to do (and I already had too much to do and not enough time to do it).

How I reacted:
My outward reaction depended on who was giving me the task. If it was someone I felt fairly comfortable with I might let them know that I was frustrated I was getting additional projects or tasks. If it wasn’t someone I felt comfortable with I’d say “Ok”, get any details I needed and head back to my cube. In either case I was annoyed and frustrated that something else was being “dumped” on me.

I also wondered if anyone actually appreciated the work I got done, because it felt like as soon as I got something done I got two or three more things to do. I felt punished for getting work done in a timely manner sometimes.

An alternate:
Instead of being upset and complaining to myself that things were being “dumped” on me. I could have made a request to that something else be taken of my plate or a deadline be moved. I was extremely reluctant to speak up for myself because I was sure I would be shot down. The biggest problem with thinking like this is that I never tried so I can’t actually say what would have happened.

This also ties into not complaining. Complaining lowers your energy, both mentally and physically. I spent so much time complaining about what I was doing and what I had left to do that I wasn’t putting as much attention into what I was working on.

Also, take a look at the language I was using. I felt “dumped” on. Of course I wasn’t going to be happy doing whatever task was just assigned to me! Changing my language to a more neutral tone would have made a difference. Instead of saying a task got dumped on me, I could have just as easily said I have a new task.

As for being appreciated, I found very little of what I was doing to be “fun,” so I wanted to be appreciated for all the “not fun” things I was doing. Well, no one was going to pat me on the head and say good job every time I did something that was my job to do. I don’t mean that harshly, it’s just the truth. Another truth is if you go into something dreading it and thinking about all the other things you’d rather be doing (things like not being at work), then you’re not going to enjoy what you’re doing.

The ironic thing is that I wasn’t appreciating what I was accomplishing each day. If I’m not appreciating what I’m getting done, why would someone else? Taking 30 seconds after completing a task to allow myself to feel a sense of accomplishment could have made a big difference.

What would you recommend someone do in a situation like this? Let me know in the comments.

Photo credit: Just working with some…FRUSTRATION! by [ jeremy ] via flickr

2011 Word of the Year – Update

by EvieBurke, posted in engaged, Word of the Year

It’s been exactly six months since I wrote about selecting my 2011 Word of the Year: engaged. So, this is a good time to review how this word has challenged me and how I’m doing with the strategies I came up with.

I still find myself struggling a bit with the word “engage” and found that default settings aren’t called that for nothing. Anytime you’re trying to change your default, you need to work on it. I’ve been reminded of this a few times so far this year.

I still struggle with jumping from one task to another. Generally it’s to check email or facebook or something like that “really quick.” The good news is that I more readily recognize when I’m doing it. The bad news is that I sometimes don’t realize it until a half hour has gone by. Yesterday I downloaded a tool recommended to me by a friend. One feature of the tool is to watch and time what sites you visit. If you spend too much time (you can set this) on a non-productive site, it will let you know.

Another default setting is the tendency to withdraw into myself when I’m in a new or uncomfortable setting. Like I said six months ago, I like to get a lay of the land before I participate. I’m doing better with this one. I’ve consciously dove into conversations a couple times when I wasn’t completely comfortable. There are times when I’m uncomfortable and I don’t dive in, but I recognize those situations more as they occur and look at what it is that makes me uncomfortable. Looking into why I’m uncomfortable has been extremely useful.

I’m doing pretty good with staying involved in activities that I feel fully engaged in. Even when I find myself coming up with excuses not to go before hand, they tend to be pretty rewarding. Sometimes the reward is that I felt the uncomfortableness and went and had a good time anyway! I found one of my favorite groups this way.

So, how am I doing with those strategies I came up with?

  • Set an intention for each meeting/event/outing I attend. I don’t always do this. The times when I don’t set an intention, I tend to have a more frustrating experience. However, when I do set an intention things go pretty well. Sometimes the intention is simply to have a good time and that’s enough. Intention setting for meeting, events and outings is important to me because they remind me why I am there and what I hope to accomplish.
  • Only attend meetings/events/outings that I have a high potential to feel fully engaged in. I’ve done a good job with this one. I stopped attending a meeting I really enjoyed, but didn’t feel fully engaged in to try another meeting that I thought had a bit more engagement potential. It paid off! I love attending the new meetings and am fully engaged. And, I continue to sign up for events that are outside of my comfort zone, but I feel have potential.
  • Set an intention for each day. I haven’t done this one for a while. The main reason is I generally had the same intention for each day: I am fully engaged in each task. Actually, I think I’ll write that down and post it in my office right now (see the picture above).
  • Meditate daily. I did this daily for about a month and for some reason stopped. This is definitely something I want to recommit to.
  • Set goals for each week. About two weeks ago I pulled out my six month goal list and broke it down into individual tasks and assigned them to specific days. This has worked out pretty well for me.
  • Set goals at the beginning of each day (or the end of the previous one). In April I got an accountability partner. We talk each morning and tell each other our goals for the day and how we did with the previous day’s goals. This has been a GREAT help to me. I found it was even more useful when I made sure I had my goals for the day listed before we got on the call so I wasn’t coming up with them as we talked. That’s where setting up the tasks in advance really paid off. Some things still get moved, but they all get rescheduled.

These are the strategies that I’m recommitting to:

  • Set an intention for each meeting/event/outing I attend.
  • Only attend meetings/events/outings that I have a high potential to feel fully engaged in.
  • Meditate daily.
  • Set goals for each month based on my long term goals.
  • Set goals at the beginning of each day (or the end of the previous one).

Did you select a word of the year? How are you doing with it?

The Risk and Pain of Change

by EvieBurke, posted in Changes

“Real change happens, when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing.”

“Change is a math formula. The formula is, change happens when the cost of the status quo is greater than the risk of change.” – Alan M. Weber

“The day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anais Nin

Three different quotes; all with a similar meaning.

Rather than share how I view these quotes, today I’d like you to think about them and how they might appear in your life. Let me know in the comments.

Photo Credit: The Hope by Mustafa Khayat

What Do You Do With Closed Doors?

by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, Changes

When God closes a door, somewhere He opens a window. – Anonymous

The last post was about what you do with the open door. Today is about what you do with the closed door.

After I thought for a bit about open doors, I started thinking about closed doors and realized that God doesn’t shut doors so you can stand and look at them and try to figure out how to open them again. If a door has been shut, isn’t it best to look for that open window (or door) instead of spending time trying to figure out how to open one that’s been shut?

I have this mental image of me standing at the shut door, trying to open it over and over again, only to find out, yet again, that the door is locked. Eventually I start to pound and yell at the door, trying to get someone on the other side to open it for me again.

It’s exhausting to do that over and over again! But how often do I do that in my life? Instead of being grateful for the opportunities that I was able to experience on the other side of the door, I’m upset that I’m not there anymore.

I find myself doing just that in one area of my life in particular. There’s a group of people that I loved spending time with that moved on to a new part of their life. I miss spending time with them and hearing about how they are and what’s going on in their lives. It’s a normal part of life, people come and go based on what’s going on in their life, but adjusting can be hard. Instead of missing how it used to be, I can be grateful that I had time with them and take advantage of the times they visit.

Do you try to re-open closed doors in your life?

Photo credit: Historic door by Sue Hasker

What Do You Do With Open Doors?

by EvieBurke, posted in Dream

Earlier this week this popped into my head: God doesn’t open doors so you can look and enjoy the view. He opens them so you can step through and be a part of it.

I started to examine my life, looking for the doors that are open that I look through and think the idea or dream on the other side is really nice. But I’m not stepping through the doorway to make that idea or dream part of my life.

Are you doing that with anything in your life? Take a look at both your professional and personal life. What doors are opened for you that you’re looking through and enjoying the view, but you’re not accepting the opportunity by stepping through the door?

Photo credit: Out door by echiner1 via flickr