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How to Deal With Overwhelm

by EvieBurke, posted in Overwhelm

Overwhelm – the word we use to describe so much coming at us at once that we can’t quickly identify the individual parts.

There are two ways to deal with overwhelm.

  1. Ignore it and move on
  2. Spend the time to identify the individual parts.

When any of your five senses are overwhelmed (hearing, sight, touch, smell and taste) a lot of times we just ignore it (or enjoy it) and move on. Emotions are another story, and I’ll leave that up to you to decide how to handle. However, when your thoughts overwhelm you, specifically your responsibilities, that’s where I have some definite thoughts.

The difference between being overwhelmed by your responsibilities (or to-do list) and most the others is that usually the other overwhelms occur once and then you can decide – quickly – whether to experience it again. For example, the taste of that dish was overwhelming; do I want to experience it again or not?

When your responsibilities overwhelm you, you still have that choice. However it requires a bit more time to ensure you don’t experience it again. If no action is taken, you’re pretty much assured that you’re going to feel overwhelmed again rather quickly.

So, how do we prevent overwhelm from happening again, once we’ve already experienced it? Stop or slow down! Yes, I realize that might sound completely counterintuitive. You want to get something done! Not add something else to your list of responsibilities!

However, I bet that’s part of the overwhelm right there, you don’t actually have a written list of your tasks. They’re all in your head, fighting to not be forgotten.

So, what’s your first step to avoiding or handling overwhelm? Make a list of everything you want to accomplish. Yep, sit down and write it all out.

Then, if you have someone to delegate to, decide what you can delegate to them and delegate it!

Next, decide what really must be done this week (or today). Yes, I know you want to do it all, but give yourself a break! There are only so many hours in the day and you need and deserve some time for yourself and your family. So, go through your list and decide what must and can be done and let the rest go until next week.

And repeat this until you actually have reasonably doable list.

As you go through your day, you’ll probably think of more things to add to your list. Add them! That way you’ll remember them and you’ll avoid feeling overwhelmed later. Remember to continue to be realistic about what can be done in a week!

Why There Is No Article Today

by EvieBurke, posted in procrastination

This article is about how there’s no article for this week. Interesting paradox, isn’t it?

This is what happened: I sat down to write it, but couldn’t focus this brain of mine on any topic to write about. And I had lots of other stuff to do! So, I decided to do it later, I even made a mental note.

Later never came…

I only had a lot of Now’s

And my Now’s were filled with other commitments.

Oops…

So, here it is, the day that I publish an article. Only I have no article to give you.

Would you like some excuses?

Yeah, I wouldn’t want them either. Reasons are plump, juicy and flavorful. Excuses can look like Reasons, but they taste kinda rotten.

So, I’ll give me the advice that I’d give any client (and if you’ve been following me a while, you might remember a certain YouTube video I shared on this topic). The advice is: just start. If you wait for an inspirational moment to strike you, you’re going to be waiting a while.

Too bad I didn’t remember that piece of advice earlier.

If I had, you might actually have a really nice article to read.

Ok, let me get a little more serious and review what happened here.

  • I wasn’t “inspired” so I decided to wait.
    Yeah, that rarely works out in my favor. What does work? Sitting down, getting quiet, and starting. For me, that works for almost anything that I want to write. 

    So, know what works for you. If you’re not sure – think about when things flowed, what was happening?

  • I made a mental note to do it later.
    You know what, sometimes you do need to get up, leave the task alone for a bit and come back to it. That’s okay. However, I didn’t put it back on my task list. 

    I’ve learned that I need to write things down to get them done. I didn’t do that. It did get done (you’re reading it), but it was done later than normal. So, write it down!

  • Something I realized didn’t happen
    I didn’t spend a lot of time beating myself up over this. I created the situation, thought about my options and moved forward. Let me tell you, that’s a small, but mighty victory! It wasn’t that long ago that I would have gotten really upset with myself and spent time feeling horrible. However, that doesn’t serve me or you.

What are you waiting for inspiration on? What are you putting off till later? They may or may not be the same thing.

What would happen if your Now was spent doing one of those things?

Woman sitting outside

Procrastination, Doing Nothing and To-Do Lists

by EvieBurke, posted in procrastination

Woman sitting outsideThe other week one of my mentors wrote about getting home from somewhere and deciding to sit and do nothing for a bit instead of jumping into some writing that she had planned to do that day.

I want to pause here, and ask: what are your thoughts or questions about the story so far? Where do you think the story is going?

I immediately started to wonder why she was procrastinating and why she was avoiding that writing.

Did your thoughts take you down that road too?

Well, I was surprised (and a little annoyed) when instead she wrote about deciding to take some time to just sit and do nothing. She enjoyed some quite time and allowed her thoughts to wonder a bit. And none of those thoughts where things like “I should be doing…” or “I have to remember to…”

It never even crossed her mind that she might be procrastinating. And she wasn’t procrastinating. She enjoyed a quiet moment at home, with no regrets, worries or should-be’s. The point of her story was that doing nothing for a little bit every once in a while is healthy for her and her business.

Did you assume the story was going to be about procrastination like I did?

Our beliefs around certain topics automatically show up in the questions we ask ourselves or how we anticipate the path a story will take.

I realized that I assume if I’m not working on crossing things off my to-do list during “work hours” then I must be procrastinating. Intellectually I know that this isn’t always the case. Not being productive doesn’t mean you’re procrastinating, but that is often how it’s viewed.

And I was annoyed because I felt that if I sat down and did nothing for an undetermined period of time it might turn into an hour. And then I’d really feel behind on the day’s list of to-dos.

When did my to-do list become a ball and chain of activities that must be done before a magical “end of the day?” Do you have that problem too?

So, what to do about it? Well, for one, you and I could both start taking some of my advice – stop making long daily to-do lists! Your daily list should have no more than seven things on it. Go on, take a look at your list and decide what seven things should really be one it. If this is really hard for you, take a few deep breaths and I know you can do it!

A funny thing happens when you shorten your to-do list; you procrastinate less! No, really, it’s true. You’ve just created a list that you feel you can actually accomplish! That’s a whole lot more motivating than a long list that can’t be completed in one day. With the long list, it doesn’t seem like such a big deal when an extra item or two isn’t completed. But with a short list, completing that last task or two feels attainable, and that’s more motivating!

What Are You Feeding Your Business?

by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, Self Care

The other week I heard the story of the two wolves again. I love hearing these types of stories. I always hear or understand something new each time I hear them. If you’re not familiar with the story, here it is:

An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice, “Let me tell you a story.

I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do.

But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times.”

He continued, “It is as if there are two wolves inside me.

One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.

But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing.

Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit.”

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather’s eyes and asked, “Which one wins, Grandfather?”

The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, “The one I feed.”

As I was thinking about this story I thought about the stories we tell ourselves. When you talk with others about how your day went or how you’re doing, you tell a story. When you’re reviewing how an event or meeting went, you’re telling a story. When you’re thinking about your to-do list or planning your day, you’re telling a story. When you talk about how your business is doing, you’re telling a story.

It’s how we’re all wired. It’s not bad, it’s not good, it just is.

Our stories feed us and that determines which wolf gets fed. Are you telling stories of an angry world full of people out to get you, or are you telling stories of a friendly place where there’s enough for everyone?

And what about the stories other people tell? Do they feed you? Yes, if you let them. It’s like someone serving you dinner. If you don’t like it you can be “polite” and eat it anyway – or not. Is it rude to not eat what’s in front of you? Well, if you have a peanut allergy and someone gives you food with peanuts in it, is it rude to not eat it? No, it’s not. Determining whose stories you listen to is similar. It’s okay to say “I don’t agree” or find another conversation.

So, for your business – what are you feeding it? What stories do you tell yourself and others about it? And are those the stories that you want to feed your business?

And what stories are you letting other people feed you and your business? Where do you find yourself agreeing with someone without thinking about it?

Are You Waiting For It To Be Perfect?

by EvieBurke, posted in planning, rules

It’s not done yet.

I’m not ready.

It just needs to be tweaked a couple more times.

I need more time.

Tomorrow is a better day to do that.

Ever find yourself saying any of those things over and over again? I know I hear my clients saying these things sometimes and I’m guilty of it too.

Voltaire wrote “Perfect is the enemy of the good.” Don’t wait for the project, speech, presentation, web page, timing or whatever to be perfect. Few things we create go out into the world completely and utterly perfect.

A question I like to ask myself (and clients) when I find myself looking for perfection before I try something or put something new “out there” is “what are you afraid of?” What is it that you’re afraid might happen if you don’t have it perfect? Are you afraid someone won’t like you? Are you afraid of being ridiculed? Ignored? Overlooked? Seen? Known? Maybe it will force you to a higher standard and by keeping it to yourself and perfecting it you don’t have to worry about that.

I heard someone talking about speaking say that the person out there giving an imperfect presentation is always making more money than the person sitting at home continually trying to make their presentation perfect. It’s true right? Anytime you’re putting yourself out there you’re introducing new people to your business and your services. Why wait for it to be perfect? There are people out there who are waiting for your services and honestly, they probably don’t realize that it’s not perfect yet!

Are you waiting for the perfect time in your business to take a vacation? Don’t wait! Plan it, make it happen and set an intention to enjoy your time away!

Are you waiting for the perfect bit of inspiration to hit before you work on that project? Don’t wait! Start working on it! (If I waited for the perfect bit of inspiration before I wrote my weekly articles there would only be about one a month!) Sometimes you need to create the space (physically and mentally) and trust you’ll make exactly what needs to be made in that space.

Are you waiting for things to slow down or speed up or do something else before you sit down and spend some time with yourself to plan your week or your day or commit to making that big goal actually happen?

STOP WAITING. The time is rarely perfect. And when it is, you don’t realize it until afterwards.

I recently re-watched the movie version of The Music Man and this quote popped out at me:

You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays. I don’t know about you, but I’d like to make today worth remembering.
– Meredith Willson, The Music Man (said by Harold Hill)

What will you create today that’s worth remembering?