Category: planning

Why Are You Waiting?

by EvieBurke, posted in Changes, planning

Do you ever wonder: when will it be my turn? When does my life start being about me and not about everyone and everything else? Maybe you feel guilty about feeling that way or maybe you’re counting down the days to something that signifies more time for you.

A long weekend means extra days off work and you probably look forward to those right? Do you spend time doing things you want to do, things just for you? Or are your long weekends filled with running here to this party and there for that event?

Do you have a vacation planned? You look forward to those, a few days, a week or maybe more away from work! Only when you’re on vacation you’re spending so much time seeing and doing everything that you need another day of vacation just to recover!

Or maybe you’re waiting for things to calm down at work, your next promotion, your next job, your time on that committee to be over, a child to start school, a teen to start college, or your retirement.

There’s always something to wait for, an event to be over or a milestone to be reached before you decide that now you get to take time to do the things that you want to do. What is it that you’re waiting for? And more importantly why are you waiting?

No really, why are you waiting?

Review your values and priorities and make changes to how you spend your time. Things won’t change unless you change them. No one is going to make sure that you do the things that are important to you but you.

What’s one small thing you can do in the next week that will move you closer to life being what you want and how can I support you in that?

buried alive in paper

What to Do About Distracting Tasks

by EvieBurke, posted in planning

buried alive in paperWhat are the distracting tasks weighing on you today? You know the ones; they keep popping into your head while you’re doing other things and distracting you from the task at hand. They generally cause frustration because you now have to refocus on the task at hand and worry about when you will be able to do that other task. An you might feel a bit buried like the picture.

What Not To Do

I used to get to a point on the task at hand where I had about ten minutes left and then a five to fifteen minute distracting task would pop into my head so I would switch to that task. This caused two problems: 1) I didn’t write down where I had left off on the first task, so it took twice as long to finish and 2) because I didn’t finish the first task, it was now the distracting task.

Better Options

Get a notebook or a post-it and write down distracting tasks when they pop up. Then go back to the task at hand. When you write it down so you can plan for it later will generally stop that distracting task from popping up again.

If you have a list of tasks for the day you might want to review priorities to see where this new task should be added. If it doesn’t fit with today’s schedule, make sure it gets scheduled another day.

You might find that even after you’ve scheduled time tomorrow or later in the week for the distracting task that it keeps popping up. Well, then you might want to do it today just so you don’t spend the time and energy thinking about it. There is value in freeing up that space and time.

How do you handle distracting tasks?

Who Are You Exercise

by EvieBurke, posted in Happiness, planning

Question mark in blue circleWhen you to tell someone about yourself, what do you say?

Take a minute and make a list. What do you want someone who just met you to know about you?

Do you have your list?

Great!

Now, cross off your work. Sure, you spend a lot of time there, but you are not your work – if you left your job tomorrow you would still be the same person, but in a different set of circumstances.

Now, cross of anything on your list that you own. You are not your house/apartment/condo, car or any other possession. You may really enjoy those things, but if they were gone tomorrow, you’d still be the same person you are today.

Ok, so what’s left on your list?

Some people have nothing left on the list (that was me!). Others have their family roles, their hobbies or brief, vague descriptions of themselves.

Add to your list: Who are you outside of work and your possessions? What do you enjoy doing (at work or home)? What are your hobbies?

Also, how would your family or friends describe you?

Write all that down.

Was this exercise difficult for you? It was for me! I often identify myself with my job or, when I was unemployed, my lack of a job. Often we don’t take the time to think about who we are beneath the surface, but it’s extremely useful to have this information.

Review your list for items that you haven’t done this week. Are you still someone that enjoys doing that? If so, why haven’t you spent time doing it? Too busy? I wrote down avid reader, but I realized I don’t read enough to fit my definition of “avid.” So, I have a choice – decide I’m not an avid reader any more or decide to read more (I’m choosing to read more). Do you have any items like that on your list?

Sometimes we all get busy (full of distracting detail), running around trying to get things done. That’s perfectly normal. However, it’s important to review every once in a while and make room for the things we want to define our lives.

What’s one item on your list that you haven’t done or experienced for a week or two (or more)? Can you make time for it in the next few days? Tell me in the comments!

Should Do and Want To, but Won’t

by EvieBurke, posted in comfort zone, Intuition, planning

Man ThinkingHave you ever been in a situation where you felt you should do something, but maybe you didn’t really want to? Or the reverse, where you felt you shouldn’t do something, but you really did want to?

Wanting to do something feels a lot better than feeling like we should do something. When I read a book I want to read, I get a lot more out of the experience and generally enjoy it more. When I read a book I feel I should read, it takes a really long time for me to read and I don’t enjoy the book as much. That experience between want’s and should’s is pretty universal.

How about when you don’t want to do something? If you don’t want to do something and you do anyway you won’t get as much out of the experience, right? Well, yes and no. There are a lot of things that I don’t want to do (on some level) that I do anyway because the reason I don’t want to do it is that it’s outside of my comfort zone (for more on that read this post).

I recently found myself with an opportunity to do something that I felt I should do and I wanted to do it, but I had little energy for it (I was tired just thinking about it). I reviewed my energy for this opportunity from many different angles. Was it outside my comfort zone somehow? Was I being fueled by rivalry? Was I trying to prove something to someone? Was I worried about what other people would think?

I finally decided to sit down and prepare for this opportunity. The words wouldn’t come. I sat for a while and had many feelings that I wanted to convey, but no words to express them.

That’s when I quieted myself and listened to my gut (or intuition). I learned that I wasn’t ready for this opportunity at this time. That’s why I had low energy for it. And I realized that while this specific opportunity would never be available again, I can share with a portion of that audience in other ways in the future, when I am ready and there is energy for it.

When you find yourself in a place where the should’s and want to’s meet, but have no energy or enthusiasm for the task don’t forget to check your gut or intuition. What does that say you should do?

Photo credit: Thinking RFID by @boetter via flickr

One Small Step at a Time

by EvieBurke, posted in Changes, planning

Apparently this week’s theme is looking back over the last year.  As I once again think about what’s happened over the course of the last year.

Just over a year ago I hired a life coach to help me answer the infamous question “What do I want to be when I grow up?” A lot has changed in the last year. For one, I had to accept that although conventional wisdom tells you to do what you love, no one was going to pay me money to watch YouTube videos all day (and I’d probably quickly tire of it).

Anyway, a lot has changed for me in the last year. I decided to become a life coach and started training. I left a job (well, really a family) that I had for basically eight years and started my own business. And then I completed my life coach training and turned my focus completely to being a full-time life coach. While it fits in a few sentences, it feels like a lot, right?

Well, yes and no. There’s a funny thing about big changes: they generally don’t happen all at once. Looking back, it looks and feels like a lot. But really, change happens one small step at a time. Yes, some steps are bigger and scarier than others (like quitting a job), but I was surprised to look back and see what I’ve accomplished over the last year.  Most steps didn’t feel huge and scary because they were small steps toward a larger goal.

The point of telling this story is to ask you: what changes have you not made because they feel big and scary?

Take it one small step at a time. And find someone to help you through it.  This could be a close friend you really trust, a family member, someone in your faith community or someone you hire. And remember, generally life changes one minute at a time and in small steps. Look up at where you want to be and put your focus on the next small step to take you there.

So, what changes (or tasks even) are you avoiding because they feel big and scary?