I was listening to the radio the other day and someone was complaining about not being appreciated by her boss. She felt that things at work would be a lot more enjoyable if her boss genuinely appreciated her and her coworkers.
I can relate. Most of us probably can. Whether it’s a boss or someone else, we all want to be appreciated on occasion.
Hearing this woman on the radio (that could have so easily been me at one point), I wondered two things:
1. Does she appreciate her boss?
We teach people how to treat us. One way we do that is by treating them how we would like to be treated. Want to be treated with respect, treat others with respect. Want to be treated with care and compassion, treat others with care and compassion.
2. Does she appreciate herself?
The other way we teach people how to treat us is by how we treat ourselves. Want to be treated with respect, treat yourself with respect. Want to be treated with care and compassion, treat yourself with care and compassion.
Other people do not automatically know how you want to be treated. Our own behaviors give others insight to that. So, next time you find yourself wishing for a different behavior or treatment from someone, take it as an opportunity to learn about yourself and ask:
- Do I treat others that way?
- Do I treat myself that way?
I was raised on “do unto others as you want done unto you” and I try to live by it everyday. Sometimes in life we encounter people who do not believe this and this is where we have to be strong and remain in our own belief system. If the person still chooses to respond in a negative manner this is when we respect ourselves enough to remove ourselves from the situation.
Good point Karla!
Nothing works as well as the Golden Rule, but sometimes nothing works. In that case you have to be your own cheerleader.
Definitely Ann, sometimes we forget to take time to be our own cheerleader.
It can be hard to accept that the people in your life are a reflection of you, especially when they are treating you in a way you don’t like. But that is the lesson. You are being asked to become aware of where you behave as they do, either towards ourselves or others. And if you’re willing to learn it can give you a whole new insight into yourself.
I completely agree Lia, great points!