Throwing a Pity Party

Have you ever thrown yourself a pity party? I did for a little bit yesterday. My goals felt too big and the path there seemed too daunting (perhaps I should have gone back and read this post from last week). In the past, I have stayed in that place for days at a time. Everything that came my way was another thing to add to my already heavy load.  I was just waiting for that proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.

This time my pity party was a little different.  I noticed it sooner for what it was and allowed myself to wallow in it.  Yes, I consciously made the decision to stay there.  Probably not what you’d expect a person who’s all about taking steps to be happy to admit, right?

Well, allowing myself to stay in my pity party did come with strings attached: I set a time limit.  Once I recognized it for what it was I gave myself ten minutes of really feeling sorry for myself and then I had to move on.

Once my ten minutes were up I wanted to feel better about myself.  That can be easier said than done.

The first thing I did was take a few deep, calming breaths.  Go ahead and do that now.  Breathe in deep through your nose and out through your mouth.  Relaxing isn’t it?

The second thing I did was think about what’s going right and what I’m thankful for.  Gratitude, it’s a great mood lifter.

So, next time you want to throw yourself a pity party, go ahead! But make sure you’re consciously making that decision.  Also, limit how long the party is and then spend some time being grateful for other things in your life.

Interested in reading more about gratitude? Check out these posts:
Being Happy – Gratitude
Day 130 in Gratitude (a guest post I did for my friend Linda)
Photo credit: Pity Party by Evil Erin via flickr

15 thoughts on “Throwing a Pity Party

  1. hehe–so cute! I guess I’ve done this before too! But it’s so much more effective to just be grateful for what we do have and what IS going right, isn’t it! ;o)
    Great post–fun read! 🙂
    God bless,
    Emily Stoik

  2. I agree Evie,

    Sometimes we let ourselves go into a pity whirlpool without being aware of it. Once we acknowledge it, somehow it gets under control, and it can be used for therapeutic purposes.

  3. Great advice, Evie. I was having a rough time the other day too. I really appreciated the advice to “go ahead” and have a great pity party.

  4. Awesome post! I had a pity party today, actually. I love the time limit idea . . . and, of course, gratitude works for focusing on what’s good in our lives.

  5. Hi Evie,

    Sensational tips.

    I throw myself a pity party once in a blue moon but always cut the party short. We are bound to encounter uncomfortable feelings whenever running up against resistance; the ego’s way of saying “Hey, look at me!”

    This is OK. Face, embrace and release the emotions. At least if you want to be rid of them. This means tossing a pity party once in a while when the emotions of feeling sorry for yourself and situation arise.

    After breaking up the party I immediately focus on what I am wanting to see, all the wonderful things I have and all the wonderful things on the way. Energy shifts immediately.

    Thanks for sharing.


  6. Evie,
    I Love It! I think that we all have pity parties from time to time. We feel sorry for ourselves when things don’t go the way we had expected. The amazing thing about this post is it tells us that they are not only natural, but that they are okay!

    Although I don’t welcome an opportunity to even think about having a pity party, it’s awesome to know that I have a choice. I can be in the pitty party and consciously choose to have the little ‘party’ – knowing that on the other side the sun is going to shine and we’re going to find a way to keep moving forward!!

    Thanks for a great post,

  7. Evie,

    I like this idea; giving yourself permission but also putting a limit on it.

    I guess I’ve been having myself a “pity party” for about a week but just didn’t think to put a limit on it (being down with bronchitis didn’t help either).

    Great Post.


  8. Great post! I love the time limit on the pity party! I did this last week on a “pity conversation.” A friend and I gave ourselves 7 minutes exactly to talk out an issue that we had just about resolved but wanted to close once and for all!

  9. Great post, Evie! Sometimes, it’s hard for me to get out of that mode, but I think that what works for me sometimes is just venting enough to expel the bad feelings from my body. I guess the secret is figuring out what does work.

  10. Awww Evie, we all have pity parties. It’s how long you stay in them that matters. Love your honesty. We all need to know we aren’t the only ones who wallow!

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