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buried alive in paper

What to Do About Distracting Tasks

buried alive in paperWhat are the distracting tasks weighing on you today? You know the ones; they keep popping into your head while you’re doing other things and distracting you from the task at hand. They generally cause frustration because you now have to refocus on the task at hand and worry about when you will be able to do that other task. An you might feel a bit buried like the picture.

What Not To Do

I used to get to a point on the task at hand where I had about ten minutes left and then a five to fifteen minute distracting task would pop into my head so I would switch to that task. This caused two problems: 1) I didn’t write down where I had left off on the first task, so it took twice as long to finish and 2) because I didn’t finish the first task, it was now the distracting task.

Better Options

Get a notebook or a post-it and write down distracting tasks when they pop up. Then go back to the task at hand. When you write it down so you can plan for it later will generally stop that distracting task from popping up again.

If you have a list of tasks for the day you might want to review priorities to see where this new task should be added. If it doesn’t fit with today’s schedule, make sure it gets scheduled another day.

You might find that even after you’ve scheduled time tomorrow or later in the week for the distracting task that it keeps popping up. Well, then you might want to do it today just so you don’t spend the time and energy thinking about it. There is value in freeing up that space and time.

How do you handle distracting tasks?

Your Words Are Important

Your language is very important. Not only does it convey your thoughts and feelings to others, it can convey them to you too. What am I talking about? Let’s say you go through the day saying this is hard and that is hard and they’re hard to talk to. You’re describing your day and also sending yourself a message that everything is hard. And since we all like to be right, even subconsciously, everything stays hard.

Fall Back Words
I call words you use over and over again in your day to describe something as a fall back word. It’s your personal go-to description word like hard. When you find yourself using a negative fall back word try to find another way to describe what you’re talking about. Using different language will take some of the sting from the description and things will feel less hard (or whatever your fall back word is).

If
Saying if indicates you haven’t fully committed to something; that you still have a decision to make about it. In many cases I know that if is entirely intentional. What about all those times when it’s not intentional? If this project is on time we’ll have time for that or if I get to work early I’ll answer that email or if I leave on time I’ll stop at the store. Subconsciously you just told yourself and anyone listening that you’re not committed to the project being on time, getting to work early or leaving on time.

Change your wording to when. So, it becomes when this project is on time we’ll have time for that or when I get to work early I’ll answer that email or when I leave on time I’ll stop at the store. See the difference that makes?

Should or Have To
Stop should-ing all over yourself. I had never heard that phrase until I became a coach and now it’s one of my favorites. You know you say it, I still say it occasionally – I should do this or I have to do that. How do you feel when you say those words? Do you feel heavy, maybe a bit of Ugh! type feeling? A let’s get this over with already feeling? What if you said I want to instead? I want to do this. How does saying that feel? Does it feel a bit lighter? Maybe you’re looking forward to doing it now?

Can’t say I want to do this about something? Find some reasons that you do want to do it. Maybe you want to make that phone call (or send that email) because sitting and worrying about it is much more draining then actually picking up the phone. Or making time to teach someone how to do that task might take you an hour now (when you could do it yourself in 10 minutes), but then you won’t have to do that task 15 times in the next month (you gain 2.5 hours!).

Conclusion
Our words affect how we feel and think about things. Notice when you’re saying these things and ask someone else to nicely point out when you’re using these words. They often creep into our vocabulary when we’re not paying attention.

Who Are You Exercise

Question mark in blue circleWhen you to tell someone about yourself, what do you say?

Take a minute and make a list. What do you want someone who just met you to know about you?

Do you have your list?

Great!

Now, cross off your work. Sure, you spend a lot of time there, but you are not your work – if you left your job tomorrow you would still be the same person, but in a different set of circumstances.

Now, cross of anything on your list that you own. You are not your house/apartment/condo, car or any other possession. You may really enjoy those things, but if they were gone tomorrow, you’d still be the same person you are today.

Ok, so what’s left on your list?

Some people have nothing left on the list (that was me!). Others have their family roles, their hobbies or brief, vague descriptions of themselves.

Add to your list: Who are you outside of work and your possessions? What do you enjoy doing (at work or home)? What are your hobbies?

Also, how would your family or friends describe you?

Write all that down.

Was this exercise difficult for you? It was for me! I often identify myself with my job or, when I was unemployed, my lack of a job. Often we don’t take the time to think about who we are beneath the surface, but it’s extremely useful to have this information.

Review your list for items that you haven’t done this week. Are you still someone that enjoys doing that? If so, why haven’t you spent time doing it? Too busy? I wrote down avid reader, but I realized I don’t read enough to fit my definition of “avid.” So, I have a choice – decide I’m not an avid reader any more or decide to read more (I’m choosing to read more). Do you have any items like that on your list?

Sometimes we all get busy (full of distracting detail), running around trying to get things done. That’s perfectly normal. However, it’s important to review every once in a while and make room for the things we want to define our lives.

What’s one item on your list that you haven’t done or experienced for a week or two (or more)? Can you make time for it in the next few days? Tell me in the comments!

Multitasking: What To Do About It

In the past week or so I’ve heard the following two sentiments from different places:

  1. My son asked me the other day when do we get to spend time doing things that he wants to do and I realized that I’m not spending enough time with him where I’m not multi-tasking.  – Paraphrasing Katilette on YouTube – you can see the video here
  2. I’ve gotten a lot done working from home this week. Projects that have been on the back burner for months are done or almost done! – Paraphrasing my husband, last week he was home recuperating after an outpatient surgery. He didn’t put in his normal hours, but got a lot done in the time he was working.

Undivided attention, that’s what they’re both talking about. With people, whether adults or children, undivided attention tells them that they’re important and creates a closer bond. With projects and tasks, undivided attention means things get done faster.

“Multitasking has been criticized as a hindrance to completing tasks or feeling happiness.” – Wikipedia article on multitasking

For a long time multitasking was a required skill in the workplace. However that’s been changing over the last couple of years. Multiple studies show that multitasking isn’t productive (here, here and here). Tasks completed when multitasking took longer, more mistakes were made and information wasn’t retained in good detail.

So, why do we still insist on multitasking?

  • Just one more thing. You want to get one more thing done while working on something else.

    I’d bet this is what Katilette was doing. I know my husband and I do this quite often and I have to remind myself sometimes to put the computer away. For us, it usually goes like this: my husband gets home from work, we have dinner and then watch a TV show we’ve saved or rewatch a favorite. However, at dinner my husband might be checking various funny websites and while we watch TV I can be found cleaning out my email.

    If the multitasking in this situation isn’t bothering anyone and you’re spending other quality time together with your loved ones – then this might not be a problem. In the case of my husband and I – when there are things we want to talk about or stories about our day we want to share, the distractions are automatically put way – it’s our (generally) unspoken agreement.

    However, review this regularly, you don’t want to look up from the computer screen one day and realize you haven’t had a decent conversation with your family for a week or two. Set aside some time each week, or day, to have uninterrupted quality time with your family.

  • Interruptions. Sometimes multitasking is the result of the people around us. Someone wants a quick answer to something or to share a quick story and our focus is changed, even if only for a couple minutes.

    I’d bet this was why my husband was happy to get those projects done when he was at home last week. There’s not a lot of people in his office, but it’s a fairly open setup that makes it easy to share whatever is on your mind without getting up (that’s probably one of the reason’s he likes working there – his co-workers are easy to access and chat with). So, when he was at home he knew he could have uninterrupted time to complete those projects.

    If interruptions are a problem ask the person if the question can wait 15 minutes, or whatever gives you time to finish your thought or complete the project. Don’t forget to follow up with them if they don’t come by again or go and see them when you have a natural breaking point.

  • Avoiding an unwanted or stressful task. You sit down to work on something that you don’t really want to do, for whatever reason, and then decide to check your email or do this other quick task that popped into your head.

    I occasionally find myself doing this. When I notice it, I set a timer and work until it goes off, then I can do something else if I want or take a break, even if the task isn’t done.

    Another thing you can do is decide another way you want to feel about the task. Then focus on that new feeling instead of the stress (or maybe annoyance) you were feeling. I did this the other day. There was a task I was dreading to do because it was hard (translation: outside my comfort zone). Instead I told myself that the task was simple and focused on how it feels to do simple tasks. A half hour later the task was done and in the past this same task has taken me over an hour.

  • Boredom. You’re simply bored with what you’re doing and want a distraction.

    When I was a programmer I’d multitask when waiting for a process to finish. So, while I was waiting I’d check email or work on something else. The problem I generally had was the process had been finished for at least five minutes (if not more) by the time I got around to checking it. In some cases, not a big deal, but generally someone was waiting for the results.

    The best way I found to deal with this one was either sit there and wait or take the opportunity to do something that I could really quickly do and not get sidetracked. The problem with checking email in this situation is I would come across something that needed a thoughtful or researched response. Sometimes I’d take the opportunity to walk away from my desk for a moment for whatever quick excuse I could think of (but not to chat with someone – I would easily be away from my desk a bit too long).

One last point, according to this article all the media multitasking we do (doing any combination of texting, instant messaging, checking email, browsing the internet, chatting, watching TV and trying to get something else done) causes us to be easily distracted. We’ve essentially trained our minds to check our email or phone every 10 minutes (or less!) – we’ve trained ourselves to look for or create interruptions!

So, while I don’t think all forms of multitasking are bad, you want to consciously choose to multitask and not make it what you do everywhere.

Why do you multitask? What are you multitasking?

Are You Too Busy?

I used to consider myself really busy. I always had a ton of things to do at work and my nights and weekends were filled with activities, meetings and family obligations. When someone would ask how I was I’d answer “Ohh, I’m busy… but good.”

I was constantly running around trying to get one more thing done. The downtime I did have I spent watching TV or movies.

Imagine my surprise when I unexpectedly had quiet time and realized that despite all the busyness and running around – I wasn’t happy! Sure I smiled and laughed and appeared to be having a great time, but that didn’t change the truth.

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Merriam-Webster gives the following definitions for busy:

  1. a : engaged in action : occupied
    b : being in use <found the telephone busy>
  2. : full of activity : bustling <a busy seaport>
  3. : foolishly or intrusively active : meddling
  4. : full of distracting detail <a busy design>

When someone says “I’m busy” they generally are referring to definition 2, “full of activity.” However, when I look back at the times I consider myself really busy I think a better fit is definition 4, “full of distracting detail.”

I always had something to do or somewhere to be, but it was all really a way to distract myself from the dissatisfaction I had with my life. It was easier to distract myself with busyness, TV, movies and the occasional good book then to figure out what to do about my dissatisfaction and personal unhappiness.

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It takes a lot of work to stay busy, but it’s a different kind of work to determine what happiness looks like for you. A common message in our society is “You’ll be happy after you [fill in the blank].” The problem is happiness isn’t a destination.

If you tie your happiness to a specific goal – you’ll never be happy. This doesn’t mean you won’t meet your goals. Our natural tendency is to reach a goal and then set a new one. So, if you decide you’ll be happy after x, when you reach x you don’t say “Yay! I’m happy now” you say “Great! Now I want y!” And you never actually get to be happy, which really sucks.

Instead, find out what being happy each day looks like for you and know that it will change with time. My suggestions are:

  • Keep a gratitude journal
  • Make time for yourself – do one thing a day for just you that makes you happy
  • Reevaluate your current activities and if they no longer bring you joy or make sense for your life right now – stop doing it
  • Find out your Happiness Factor (really – it will give you a new perspective!)

The list could go on and on, but these four can make a huge difference.

What are things you do that contribute to your happiness? Share in the comments!