Blog

That's all it really is - a situaton

Not broken

That's all it really is - a situationThe story starts with a very frustrated solopreneur.

A group program that didn’t fill the way I wanted it to (and I really thought it would fill!) and was frustrated and deflated.

I spent some time healing my ego and one thought kept surfacing: What would happen if you did what scares you the most?

Which lead to the question: What scares me the most?

The answer: let everyone know that things aren’t going as wonderfully as I project.

Yep, that scared me. What would people think? What would they do? And would they try to fix me? I didn’t want to be fixed.

So, on a Friday afternoon I found myself in my kitchen contemplating this. And I wondered what I would say.

I stood up, set a timer and started talking.

Nope, too long – it needs to be shorter. After all, I’m not giving a presentation.

What I ended up with was this: My name is Evie Burke. I am not broken. I am perfect just the way I am and I do NOT need to be fixed.

As I repeated that over and over again I started to sob. And I kept saying it.

Slowly, the sobbing subsided and I was saying it with conviction.

You are not brokenIt was powerful.

And it’s true.

It’s true for you too.

You are not broken.
You are perfect just the way you are.
You do NOT need to be fixed.

Yet, we have that desire sometimes don’t we?

The desire that someone will come in and fix things for us. Tell us exactly what to do to get through (or around) whatever situation we’re in.

And yet that’s all it really is—a situation.

It’s not that we’re broken or need fixing, it’s just a situation that we’re in right now.

And the situation isn’t good or bad, it just is.

And we might not have the tools or skills to move through the situation the way we want.

But all we see is that gap, the gaping void between where we are and where we want to be. And we assume there’s something wrong with us because we can’t figure out how to cross it on our own.

You are not broken.
You are perfect just the way you are.
You do NOT need to be fixed.

When you find yourself in the middle of something, when your frustrated and a bit lost, remember: it doesn’t mean you’re broken or need fixing. You’re just in a situation that you haven’t found or asked for the tools you need to move through it yet.

I'm a work in progress. And that's actually a really good thing.

Work in Progress

I'm a work in progress. And that's actually a really good thing.April and May were rather interesting months for me.

I spent a lot of time being frustrated and annoyed. I wondered what could have been done differently.

At one point I wanted to lay everything bare to the world—here are ALL my frustrations internet! Who’s feeling the same?!

I’m thankful for good friends that I ran the idea by and instantly got on a call with me to talk it through and encouraged me to wait.

We all need friends like that.

I spent some time avoiding tasks and thoughts, diving deep into other thoughts, and to some extent, just let myself BE.

Here are some of my conclusions:

  • I do not function well without sleep. I probably need an average of 7.5+ hours each night.
    But I was averaging just under 6.5.
  • Downtime is extremely important to me and my motivation. I wasn’t getting any quality downtime and what I did get was a “cheating” break when I felt I should be working (hello guilt cycle!).
  • I also need time just to think, to be with myself. Not meditation (although that’s good too), but time to play with thoughts like a 5 year old might play with play-doh. Yep, it might be messy, but it’s also satisfying (and doesn’t happen without the first two in place).

I wish I could tell you that I’m now get 8 hours of sleep every night, that I schedule (and take!) downtime and that I leave myself “think play-time” and will now share the 5 easy steps so you too can have these things.

Alas, I’m a work in progress. And that’s actually a really good thing.

What I do have to share with you over the next several weeks are some of the results of my “think play-time.”

They are personal mindset breakthroughs, frustrations (and my realizations about them) and general aha’s.

I hope they spark something for you.

Asking the right question

Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple. - Dr SeussOver the years I’ve realized how right the quote to the right is.

Asking the right question can be very important and it can be very frustrating trying to figure out what that question is.

And at the same time, if you’re not asking a question, finding the answer is a bit like searching for a puzzle piece and you’re not sure what it looks like, but you’re sure you’ll recognize it when you see it.

How much faster does the search for that puzzle piece go when you know what color you’re looking for? or if it’s an edge piece or when you have some guideline that helps you know which pieces aren’t the one you’re looking for?

Finding answers is a bit like that. You can find yourself spending lots of time trying out lots of different things because you haven’t taken the time to figure out what question you’re trying to answer. Instead, you’re picking up a lot of other people’s answers and seeing if they fit for you.

And while you might be learning a lot in that process, I bet you also feel like you’re spending a lot of time spinning your wheels or running in circles – none of it really seems to fit where you are or what you’re looking for.

When you take the time to know the question, the answers come so much more quickly.

So, spend some time today determining what your questions are. You might be surprised by how much time and energy you save looking for answers when you know your questions.

Share your question or questions in the comments below.

Networking and introverts

Last year I wrote a nifty post about networking as an introvert.

There are two things I love about that post:

  1. Marti Olsen Laney’s book The Introvert Advantage is referenced (I love that book) – specifically her definitions of introversion and extroversion.
  2. I share some tips AND in the comments Christina shares some great tips.

Share your networking tips below or on that post.