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June Book Reviews (We Are All Weird and Start with Why)

June 16, 2016 by EvieBurke, posted in book review

Since my May book review, I read “We Are All Weird: The Myth of Mass and The End of Compliance” by Seth Godin AND “Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action” by Simon Sinek. And my reviews are below.

I’d love to know 2 things in the comments:

Have you read these books? What did you think?
What should I read next month? If it’s already on my to-read list, it’s probably a shoe in. You can see that here.

We Are All Weird: The Myth of Mass and The End of Compliance by Seth Godin
This is a small and short book and an easy read.

I really enjoyed it. The premise being that the bell curve of “normal” has flattened out a bit. In today’s world, there are less “normal” people in the middle and more “weird” people at the edges. AND we’re all “weird” in different ways and “normal” on other ways (that’s my interpretation anyway).

I don’t have a lot to add. It’s a book that needs to be read.

Although, let me share a bit about what he says about the cover art to give you a taste:

What does it mean to be rich? Or weird?

Pictured on the cover is Jeremy, a competitor from the World Beard and mustache Competition. He’s proudly weird, and rich enough to be able to choose his passion.
…
‘Weird’ because they’re not like you or, perhaps more urgently, because they’re not normal in the way a marketer insists they be.

And that’s what rich creates. Rich isn’t a measure of a bank balance. No, rich means making a choice, choosing an identity and following a path that matters.

Based on that notion, we’re at our best when we’re weird, and when we’re enabling others to become weird as well…

Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action by Simon Sinek
This is a book I sat with for sometimes. On occassion, I sat down and wrote for myself, for my business, my answer to a question he posed or thought about how to apply an example or idea to my business.

You can get a really great feel for what the book is about from Simon Sinek’s TED talk. If you like that, you’ll like the book too.

Below are some of my favorite quotes from the book. I’m including them because they give you a really great feel for the book.

People don’t buy WHAT you do, they buy WHY you do it.

—

Everything you say and everything you do has to prove what you believe. A WHY is just a belief. That’s all it is. HOWs are the actions you take to realize that belief. And WHATs are the results of those actions-everything you say and do: your products, services, marketing, PR, culture and whom you hire. If people don’t buy WHAT you do but WHY you do it, then all these things must be consistent.

—

…success and achievement are not the same thing, yet too often we mistake one for the other. Achievement is something you reach or attain, like a goal. It is something tangible, clearly defined and measurable. Success, in contrast, is a feeling or a state of being. ‘She feels successful. She is successful,’ we say, using the verb to be to suggest this state of being.

—

Success comes when we wake up everyday in that never-ending pursuit of WHY we do WHAT we do. Our achievements, WHAT we do, serve as milestones to indicate we are on the right path. It isn’t an either or-we need both.

It was another month of great book reading!

Let me know if you’ve read them and what you thought in the comments below.

Authenticity and Vulnerability

June 9, 2016July 6, 2016 by EvieBurke, posted in balance

Have you ever been thinking about something and then suddenly it’s everywhere? I feel it’s a sign you’re on the right track, keep going.

It’s about authenticity and vulnerability. It started with reading Brené Brown’s book Daring Greatly. Then, in a Facebook group, someone shared an article about the topic, and Brené Brown’s response. And then a YouTube personality I sometimes watch was very vulnerable in a video and that made me think about authenticity. And finally, this morning in the Momentum Mastermind, it became a subject of discussion.

Ohh, I have so many thoughts and experiences I could share (and the ladies in the Mastermind only heard the tip of it, truly).

The quote that comes up for me again and again is, of course, from Brené Brown in Daring Greatly:

Vulnerability is about sharing our feelings and our experiences with people who have earned the right to hear them.

Here’s the part to pay particular attention to: people who have earned the right to hear them.

Now, let’s add this quote, also from Brené Brown:

Vulnerability without boundaries leads to disconnection, distrust, and disengagement.

Think of it this way, if I was a stranger and walked up to you in Target and started to tell you my thoughts on authenticity and vulnerability – you’d think I was really weird and want to get away from me pretty quick. Right?

That interaction would lead to you distrusting me and pretty much wanting to put as much space between the two of us as possible.

However, it doesn’t seem odd at all to read this. You’ve chosen to be here. You’re interested in the topics and the tidbits I share. And you’ve earned the right to hear them.

Now, if I shared all about my relationship with my husband – you might wonder if you’re in the right place. That’s not the relationship we have here through this newsletter. AND you’re not expecting it.

So, the question becomes: how vulnerable and authentic can/should you be in your business? What are those boundaries? What have they (whoever they are for you) earned the right to hear from you?

Those aren’t easy questions to answer, especially when this is so true:

Vulnerability is courage in you and inadequacy in me. I’m drawn to your vulnerability but repelled by mine. – Brené Brown, Daring Greatly

Your clients, your potential clients, your peeps, whoever you want to connect with wants and yearns for seeing vulnerability and authenticity in you. AND it feels sooo scary and yes, maybe even repelling to you (I know sometimes it does for me).

No one can tell you where your line between being vulnerable and over-sharing is.

Here’s what I’ve found helpful:

I have a couple of really great friends, who are also entrepreneurs and write blogs, that I can run things by when I think I might have crossed that line. Who are those people for you?
I ask myself am I sharing to connect or to make myself feel better? And if it’s to make myself feel better, it’s probably better kept in the drafts folder and maybe it will be rewritten later.
I think of one specific person to write to (not a super close friend). Will sharing this be helpful or am I over-sharing?
I’ve created a few unsaid boundaries around who/what I share about and how I share it.

Again, there are no hard and fast rules.

Final question: How can you bring more of you, wonderful person that you are, to your business? To your networking? To your marketing? To everything that you do?

Days that start badly

June 2, 2016 by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, perspective

Early in this blog’s history, I shared Stop that Bad Day. The gist of it is that my day started with a shattered glass full of orange juice and make-up on my shirt. I think I left the house in my third shirt of the day (and there weren’t any kids involved, just me).

I could have assumed that these things meant the rest of my day was going to only get worse from there.

Instead, I decided that the worst of the day was behind me. It would be clear sailing from there!

I’ll admit that I don’t remember the specifics of the day (it was almost 6 years ago).

However, we all have days like that. Days that start badly.

What do you do when that happens?

How do you react?

I should have just stayed in bed – these things always seem to happen to me.
The day would have been good if these things hadn’t happened. I wonder what else will go wrong today?
Oops, well, I know not to do that that way again.
I’m glad no one else was affected!
That was an interesting morning! Let’s clean it up!

None of the reactions are bad. But I bet there’s one that is how you immediately react and another that’s how you’d like to respond.

Our responses are interesting because they happen so quickly. Most the time we’re well into it before we even notice what’s happening.

And that doesn’t go just for days that have bad starts.

It goes for everything.

And other’s pick up on that energy – even when we don’t notice it.

So, what can you do about it? How can you shift your default reaction?

It starts with noticing how you currently react. That’s it. You don’t have to do anything about it right away, just start noticing it.

Then think about how you’d like to respond. What would that look like? feel like?

And if you’d like some help with that – I’m hosting a free interactive webinar on June 15 at 1pm CT. I’d love it if you joined me. You can find all the details here.

May Book Reviews (The Power of Self-Coaching and Daring Greatly)

May 22, 2016 by EvieBurke, posted in book review

Since my April book review, I’ve read two books. “The Power of Self-Coaching: The Five Essential Steps to Creating the Life You Want” by Joseph J. Luciani, Ph.D AND “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead” by Brené Brown. And the reviews are below.

I’d love to know 2 things in the comments:

Have you read these books? What did you think?
What should I read next month? If it’s already on my to-read list, it’s probably a shoe in. You can see that here.

The Power of Self-Coaching by Joseph J. Luciani, Ph.D.
I enjoyed the way this book is written, very conversational. It’s easy to read and has great examples sprinkled through the chapters.

And there are very straight forward quizzes in most of the chapters to help you identify what you might want to work on. Later it gives you 5 steps to help you work on the areas you identified.

I found this book to be very informative, interesting, and laid out well, but the true power of the book is in implementation. When you actually do the exercises and take the work into your every day life.

Daring Greatly by Brené Brown Ph.D., LMSW
I don’t think you can underestimate my respect for Brené Brown. I’ve heard her as a guest on one of my very favorite podcasts, The Good Life Project, and she has two extremely well know TED talks. I think she’s absolutely brilliant. She walks her talk and shares her journey of that process.

This book continues the conversation from The Gifts of Imperfection. She continued her research and this book is that work. And, of course, she shares some of her journey in the process.

When you read this book, don’t forget to look at the “Reading Guide” at the back before you start. I finished the book and started paging through the Notes and Index. Suddenly I found myself looking at questions and quotes from the book to help you think about what you’re reading and how it’s showing up, or how to apply it, in your own life. HOW DID I MISS THAT?! Well, I don’t know. But hopefully you’ll remember it’s there.

All in all, I read two absolutely fabulous books. I highly recommend both of them.

Let me know if you’ve read them and what you thought in the comments below.