Five Lies We Tell Ourselves To Stay Safe: Lie #4

Calculator and MoneyThis week is Lie #4.
You can find the other “lies” in this series here:
Lie #1: I don’t have time
Lie #2: I can’t afford it
Lie #3: It’s not in my budget
Lie #4: I need to think about it
Lie #5: I can do it myself

Let’s review what I mean by “stay safe.”

Staying safe means not taking risks. Not doing things that stretch our comfort zone. It’s not making a phone call to a potential client because it’s uncomfortable. It’s staying home from that networking group because you don’t know anyone. It’s not working with someone that could help you move forward in your business because it’s different than what you’ve done. I’m sure you can add plenty of your own examples.

Lie #4: I need to think about it

I bet you really already know what you want to say and you’re afraid of saying it. Generally for one of two reasons:

  1. The answer is “no” and telling someone no makes you uncomfortable.
  2. The answer is “yes” and saying that makes you uncomfortable.

Basically, you don’t want to be uncomfortable so you put it off. Here’s what tends to happen.

  1. Saying “no” (to someone feels uncomfortable): You ask for more time and then email to tell them it’s not for you. Or you hope they don’t call or email you back and spend a week worrying about how you’re going to say no.

    It’s okay to say no.

    There is power in saying no (for the right reasons) and being firm. And the added bonus is you don’t spend time trying to figure out how to say no, without saying no.

  2. Saying “yes” (causes you to feel uncomfortable): You ask for more time and then spend it trying to think of all the reasonable reasons that you should say no (see lies 1-3). You pick the one that sounds the easiest and use it.

    One of the best yes’s I said for my business (and myself) left me feeling sick to my stomach. Not because it was the wrong decision, but because it was the exactly right decision and I knew that it was going to stretch me and my business. I had lots of reasonable reasons to say no, AND I had better reasons to say yes.

Easily making decisions that are in alignment with what you want, decisions that are truly what is best for you takes time and practice. It’s easy to want to make the another person happy and put them ahead of ourselves or make the safe decisions. In some cases we’ve been trained to do that.

When you’re able to clearly identify what your decision is and share it, it is powerful. And it’s not just powerful for yourself, it’s powerful for the other person too.

What decisions are you thinking about right now and how can you apply this information to it? Share in the comments below!

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici /

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