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Woman thinking: How do you think this was perceived?

First vs lasting impressions

by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, perspective

Woman thinking: How do you think this was perceived?A couple weeks ago I shared a story about a woman attending a new networking group, it not being quite what she expected and her leaving. You can read it here.

This week let’s go over the second question: How do you think this was perceived by the two ladies remaining?

First impressions are an interesting thing, but not the only thing.

After all, the very first impression she made was a good one.

She walked in pleasant and smiling and very clear about what she did and who she served. She came prepared with not only business cards, but a brochure!

She was interested in the other women there and the group. She asked all the questions you’d expect someone new to ask and was conversational.

And then she said she had to leave, I have all those things to do back at the office — I’m so sorry. And left.

The women remaining looked at each other and shrugged after she left — apparently building a business relationship with the two of us wasn’t high on the agenda today…

The first impression was good, but the one they left with — well, I bet she won’t be coming to mind anytime soon for a referral from either of them.

And the lasting impression she left wasn’t probably what she was thinking about as she walked out the door.

Maybe the work on her desk was more important then the lasting impression she left or maybe it wasn’t. Or maybe she got caught up in the conversation in her head and the uncomfortableness she was feeling and found an escape route.

The maybe’s don’t really matter.

The fact is she left, and that wasn’t good or bad — it was an action that she decided to take.

And the remaining ladies reacted also isn’t good or bad — it’s their perception of that action.

The easy thing to do here is suggest you think about how you’ll be perceived before you make any decisions (staying, going or otherwise).

But that won’t server you. You’ll never be able to leave a 100% positive impression on 100% of the people you meet.

And trying to do that will drive you batty and you’ll always be stuck in your head.

Instead before you walk into events, think about how you want to be (set an intention). What do you want to feel (or embody)?

Then, if you’re at a meeting or event that isn’t a good fit, check back with yourself — if I were fully embodying the intention I set, what would that look like? Would I stay or would I go?

Have you ever left a bad impression on someone and was okay with it? Or maybe you didn’t realize it until later? Share in the comments here.

Would you do anything differently?

Walking in nervous

by EvieBurke, posted in attitude

Would you do anything differently?Last week I shared a story about a woman attending a new networking group and it not being quite what she expected. You can read it here.

Let’s go over first question: Would you do anything differently?

First let’s back up and look at what was happening even before she walked in the door. She was nervous and thinking about all the things she could be doing if she wasn’t going to the event.

This is pretty normal. You’re nervous about something and another part of your brain wants the uncomfortableness to stop, so it gives you something you can easily use as a reason to not do the uncomfortable thing.

The problem with this is it gets us stuck up in our head and that can make it more difficult to connect with people.

One thing you can do differently before you walk into an event is take a deep breath and picture something that brings you peace or calm (a person, place, thing, animal or color – whatever works for you).

You know what that does? It pulls you out of your head and into your heart. It helps you connect with people and worry less about all that other stuff waiting for you later.

It’s important to do it before you walk into the room because it’s difficult to remember to do it after you walk into the room.

When you do it before, you walk into the room with a different energy and people notice.

And when you walk in with this energy – things like the hostess not being sure there is a group, the group being much smaller than you anticipated or realizing the one person you know isn’t there – the surprises don’t throw you. Your brain doesn’t jump to the best excuse it can think of (your ever growing to-do list) to get you the heck out.

Have you noticed a difference when you (or someone else) takes a moment to take a deep breath before a networking event?

Share in the comments below.

Question

What would you do?

by EvieBurke, posted in comfort zone, networking

QuestionHere’s the situation.

You’re new to the area and interested in networking with other business owners.

At an event you meet a new friendly face and she invites you to a group that she leads. It sounds like it’s a good fit.

A couple of weeks later you’ve found the event online and decide to attend.

As you drive there you’re nervous and picturing the group in your mind. You’ll see the person who invited you and a handful of other people enjoying breakfast and connecting with each other.

You’re also thinking about the things that aren’t getting done while you’re out networking.

Relax you tell yourself. Meeting new people is an important part of growing your business. And there’s probably at least one great connection at this group.

You walk in a couple minutes late and talk to the hostess. She isn’t sure there’s a group meeting, but points you in the direction of the room they’d be in if they are.

You walk through the door and initially see no one, and then you turn and see two other women – neither of them them the person that invited you. Hmm, not what you’re expecting.

You put on your warmest smile and walk in as the other women rise to great you.

As you talk, it quickly becomes apparent that the three of you will be the entire group, no one else is coming. And, while the other two ladies are nice, they’re neither potential referral partners or clients.

And you’re thinking about how much better your time could be spent whittling down your to-do list.

This isn’t a group for you and you decide to leave. You apologize to the others and walk out feeling a bit nervous but also relieved.

Question 1: Would you do anything differently?
Question 2: How do you think this was perceived by the two ladies remaining?
Question 3: Were there any missed opportunities here?

Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Next week we’ll dive a bit deeper.​

It doesn't matter how slowly you go as long as you don't stop. - Confucius

It doesn’t matter how slowly you go…

by EvieBurke, posted in attitude

It doesn't matter how slowly you go as long as you don't stop. - Confucius
My immediate thought for this article was to share something about how to plan your year or how to stick to that plan.

And then I remembered what my Facebook and LinkedIn feeds look like – not to mention my inbox!

It seems that everyone is posting around these topics.

It makes sense, it’s the beginning of a new year (heck, I’ve done it).

And I generally read the articles and pull from them what works for me (I recommend you do the same, you don’t have to follow each outlined step if it doesn’t work for how you work!).

Also, I’ve had at least two conversations this week with people around having the best intentions to jump right into work this week and accomplish a lot. Only to realize that they either need a break now that the holidays have passed or they need to relearn the habits that they had mastered before the holidays.

Wherever you are this week – diving right in or slowly easing yourself back into the water – know that it’s OK!

You are exactly where you need to be right now. Evaluate what worked and what didn’t and make small adjustments next week.

And I’d love to know which article around planning your year (or sticking to your plan) resonated most with you. Share in the comments below (I’ve shared mine there!).