Doing the work, success, comparing and energy

In the past, I’ve written about magic pills – how sometimes all you want is someone to just tell you what to do so you can follow the predefined steps and have instant success and income.

In some part of you brain, you know that it’s not possible – but it doesn’t always stop you from looking.

Sometimes you jump into something that looks and feels like it is exactly what we need. But it doesn’t work the way you want. AND then it gets even more frustrating because you see someone else having the success that YOU want following the same steps (or program) that you are.

Let’s talk about why that happens.

You’ve joined this program that’s going to teach you everything you need to know to be successful in that area of your business that you’re struggling with. And in this program you meet Joan. She’s been in business for about as long as you have and you feel like you’re in about the same place – similar frustrations and struggles.

You and Joan are both fully engaged in the program, faithfully doing each step. Only you realize halfway through the program that Joan seems to be having more success!

You’re stunned! You’re following the same steps and doing the same workWhy aren’t you having the same success – or more!

Then you start comparing and wondering: What’s different? Does she have a better business model? Maybe her city is just better suited for her type of business than yours is? Is she more outgoing? Have a better network? Have friends better suited to help her out?

You’re looking for all the reasons you can think of for why she’s doing better. And you’re getting mad that the cards are stacked in her favor (and against you).

And then something changes, a perspective shift. You start thinking about and writing down what YOU are and aren’t doing. You take ownership of your results, both the good (that you’ve been glossing over because they weren’t Joan good) and the bad (that you’ve been alternating obsessing about and ignoring).

Suddenly, you’re not mad at or jealous of Joan anymore. You’re excited for her!

And your energy has shifted. You don’t even notice it at first – instead you noticed people behaving different around you, conversations are easier and you’re having more fun in your business.

You’re doing the work, but a little differently than you were before. Now you’re looking at the same steps and same work with a new set of eyes and it’s making a difference.

And your business – you’re serving more people and making more money – basically, you love it and are excited for where you’ll go with it next!

What’s your dream for your business? Whether 6 months out or 3 years! Share in the comments below.

Are You Comparing Yourself to Others?

ID-100154196Ever compared yourself to someone else? We all have.

Comparisons can be tricky things though. I see them used one of two ways:

  1. Beat Yourself Up
    This usually takes the form of “Why aren’t I as successful as they are?” or “Why do they get to do/have that and I don’t?” or “Why is it so easy for them and so HARD for me?”Whatever words you personally have for it, the general feeling is the same: I’m not good enough. And we beat ourselves up with someone else’s success.
  2. Motivation
    This can take the form of “That means it can be done!” or “Hmm, I wonder what I can do to have similar results?” or “I bet I can do that too!”In this case, the general feeling is excitement or curiosity. You see lots of possibilities and you have confidence in yourself.

The difference between the two? Well, besides the obvious, beating yourself up can be the start of a downward spiral (ohh yeah, I’ve been there!). If that happens take a breath, identify what is happening with a very brief description and decide what you want your next action to be. Then do it!

And remember that you’re comparing someone else’s outsides to your insides. You have no idea what obstacles they’ve overcome or are currently in the midst of – despite how perfect everything looks on the outside.

Now, going back to motivation, it can be the start of an upward spiral. Here, you let other people’s successes and experiences carry you forward. Notice when this is happening too! And enjoy the process.

Obviously, if I were to pick how you make comparisons, I’d pick motivation.

Share your thoughts in the comments below!

Image courtesy of feelart at FreeDigitalPhotos.net