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Moving and Goals – What Do They Have In Common?

by EvieBurke, posted in Goals

The other weekend my husband and I helped a friend move. There were about a dozen of us helping out. She had already packed everything into boxes that she labeled with the room the contents belonged in. And the rented moving truck was waiting in the street for us to start moving boxes and furniture into.

My parents tell a story about a friend of theirs that they helped move many years ago. When they showed up on moving day ready to help move boxes they found nothing had been packed. So, they quickly and haphazardly started putting things in boxes. It was a long day.

Which moving process do you think went quickly, smoothly and had less stress?

The one with more planning and work done prior to moving day is the obvious answer. By the time my husband and I left in the early afternoon all the boxes were moved into the new house. The boxes weren’t all in the rooms that they belonged in, but they were close by and grouped together. Each bedroom had the bed put together and made and clothes were put away. So, even though not everything was unpacked and put away, the things that they needed in the next 12 to 24 hours were available.

As for my parent’s story, I think at the end of the day all the boxes were in the new house, but no one knew what was in each box and I’m guessing their friend might have spent the night on a mattress on the floor.

So, which approach do you take? And I’m not talking about moving house and home. When you have a goal or a project that you want done do you break it down into pieces and do those things ahead of time? Do you ask for help so things go quickly and smoothly?

A quick breakdown of the successful move:

  • She had a goal with a specific date.
  • All the needed pre-work was done prior to that date (packing, labeling, and cleaning the new place).
  • She asked for and received help from friends and family (and everyone played nicely together).
  • Everyone was clear on the goals and what their strengths were and applied them accordingly.
  • She showed everyone she appreciated their help by (1) feeding everyone and (2) she gave everyone a personal thank you and hug

So, how do you take this example and apply it to the goals and projects in your life?

  • Define your goal / project
  • Give it a due date
  • Make a list of all the tasks that will make your goal/project a success
  • Complete the tasks in a timely manner.
  • Know your strengths and ask for help where needed
  • When asking for help, be clear what you expect from the other person (and when you expect it)
  • Show appreciation for those that helped you reach your goal!
  • Celebrate when you reach your goal!

What steps would you add that help make a goal or project successful?

Are You Interested Or Committed?

by EvieBurke, posted in Goals

I was thinking about what to write this week when this quote popped into my head:

Interested people do what is convenient. Committed people do whatever it takes.

I’ve heard this term applied to entrepreneurs who want to have a successful business. Basically the question is – are you interested or committed to have a successful business?

However, the real question is:  Are you interested or committed to achieving your goals?

And that question is for everyone.

Do you have a list of goals? Pull them out or if they’re in your head – write them down. Look at each goal: are you interested in achieving that goal or are you committed to achieving it?

Interested says: I’d really like to achieve this goal, it’d be cool!

Committed says: I will achieve this goal and here is what I’m doing.

Which ones do you think you’ll achieve? The one’s you’re interested in or the one’s you’re committed to? Yep, you’re most likely to achieve the goals that you’re committed to.

Take another look at those goals that you’re interested in.  Be really honest with yourself – why do you want to achieve those goals? Because your friend or colleague did? Because someone else told you that you should? Or because you think you should? Do you really need me to tell you that those reasons probably won’t motivate you?

Can you move from interested to committed? Yep! But you need a better reason than “I want to keep up with the Jones’s”. What does achieving that goal really mean to you? What will change by achieving that goal and how is that different from where you are now?

Motivation for a goal you’re committed to comes from within you and not from someone else. It gets you fired up and willing to step outside your comfort zone. It’s powerful.

What goals are you committed to?

Choose To Be Happy At Work

by EvieBurke, posted in Happiness

Choose each day to be happy at work, sounds easy and some days it is. And then there are those other days. The days where everything seems to go wrong, when you’re running around putting out fires and trying to keep people happy. Those are the days that you see a quote like:

“People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” – Abraham Lincoln

And you laugh, cry, are annoyed or some combination of the three.

Most days fall somewhere in between. How happy you decide to be on those in between days is important, because that’s where you spend a majority of your time.

So – be happy on those days. Good luck!

Ha! Wouldn’t it be great if you could read that and then just go and be happy at work! Maybe someday it’ll be like that, but for now, it’s perfectly fine if that’s not how it works for you.

However, I completely agree with the quote at the beginning of the post.

But how do you decide to be happy each day? Especially when you’re having a day when everything goes wrong?

Late last year I attended a meeting where they had a four woman panel discussing their lessons on trying to have it all (the elusive work-life balance). These four women are all highly successful in their fields of choice, four different fields, yet there were several similarities in their responses to the various questions.

One line of questioning centered on the obstacles they’ve overcome or continue to be challenged with. The common answers were: negative self-talk, feeling like they should be farther along than they are and not knowing how to pick themselves up after running into a difficult problem.

I share the obstacles first because it’s important to note that no matter how successful someone is – their problems really aren’t that different from everyone else’s. The real difference is our own perception of them.

When talking about what they appreciate, the answers again were very similar. The two main responses were support systems and mentors. They all had both.

  • Support systems are the people that they go to when the day isn’t going well. The people they vent to (vent, not complain!). These are the people they know they can count on to be there for them in any situation and are generally peers. It’s great if you have that at your job, but if you don’t then seek them out elsewhere.
  • Mentors are the people who help them get where they want to be. They lead them on the path and let them know what to expect and prepare them for it. Mentors encourage and push them to be and do more than they thought they could. Each member of the panel had at least one mentor and were sure that they wouldn’t be where they are without them.

Another line of questioning was around them taking care of themselves.  Some of the answers included: a grateful spirit, laughter, one day a week of mindless activities, volunteering and time for self.

  • Grateful spirit – I talk about this one all the time! That’s what a gratitude journal is all about. It reminds you about what’s going right in your life.
  • Laughter – Not only does laughing instantly raise your spirits, I seem to remember reading somewhere that it’s also is a good abs workout.
  • One day a week of mindless activities – The examples used were doing laundry, getting groceries and watching TV. Her point was to do activities that weren’t related to her job and don’t required her to use the same part of her brain that her job does.
  • Volunteering – Some of this was being a mentor to others and some of it was getting out into the community to do charity work for a cause you believe in. Both gave them a sense of purpose and giving back.
  • Time for self – I was surprised that only one person mentioned this, although you could argue that the mindless activities fall into this category. This woman mentioned that it was important to her to have a little time to herself each day to exercise. And if she didn’t have enough time to exercise – she made sure she had some time to sit and relax without other distractions.

Ok, back to the original question: How do you decide to be happy each day? Especially when you’re having a day when everything goes wrong?

If you look at the bulleted items above, you’ll find some really good suggestions.

To re-iterate:

  • Support system – People in your support system are great to turn to for advice, sharing or the occasional venting (make sure it’s venting and not complaining! Give yourself a time limit).
  • Mentors – When you need some advice, are stuck, or need to get out of a funk, give your mentor a call and get their thoughts. They bring a different perspective.
  • Grateful spirit – Think about or write down the things you’re thankful for.  It’s hard to stay in a bad mood when you have a grateful spirit.
  • Laughter – It’s also hard to stay mad or upset when you’re laughing. So, go have a good laugh!
  • Mindless activities – They can take your mind off of your problems.
  • Volunteering – Doing things for others can be very gratifying and lift your mood.
  • Time for self – Sometimes bad days are an accumulation of running around doing things for other people and spending little time for ourselves (ever thought this: Wait? It’s what time?! And I haven’t had lunch yet!). When you’re having a bad day take some time for yourself to relax or just breathe (one women on the panel mentioned her 10 seconds of Zen – when she just stops, closes her eyes and focuses on breathing).

There is no one right way to be happy each day – there’s only what works best for you.  Play around with these suggestions and anything you currently do to find what works best for you.

Photo credit: smile! by seanbjack via flickr

You Are Braver Than You Believe

by EvieBurke, posted in Dream

You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. – A. A. Milne

Dearest Reader,

Do you see that quote up there? It’s true – it really is. I know you don’t believe it, I hear you saying noooo, that’s not true – but I also see the glint of hope in your eye. That part of you that recognizes that it could be true and sees there might be unthought-of possibilities if it is.

Think about the quote – really let it sink in and take time to absorb its possibilities.

Now, pretend with me for a moment my dear and answer this question: If you ARE braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think – what would that mean to you? What possibilities would open up? What, if anything, would you start doing differently?

If you want to share the answers to the questions with me I would be honored.

If the possibilities scare you a little – GREAT! There are lots of people that would love to support and help you – you just have to ask.

Love,
Your Dreams

Are You STILL Feeling Overwhelmed?

by EvieBurke, posted in Overwhelm

Last week I wrote about feeling overwhelmed and some steps to go through to work through it. The example I gave was finding a productivity system that works for you, but it can work for anything. So, were you feeling overwhelmed? Did you go through those steps? One more question – are you still feeling overwhelmed?

If not, GREAT! You don’t need to read on (but feel free to anyway)!

If you ARE still feeling overwhelmed – it’s okay! You’re not alone and you’ll want to read on.

So, you’ve gone through the eight steps in the previous post and you’re still feeling overwhelmed, right? You’re still busy and working through those steps just adds more things to your to-do list.

Here’s a hard question for you: What are you willing to give up? I’m serious. If you’re feeling completely overwhelmed with everything that you have going on in your life right now then it’s time to review and decide what you’re willing to give up.

I warned you that it was a hard question.

Some other ways to ask the same question:

  • What are you willing to stop doing?
  • What are you willing to delegate?
  • Where can you ask for help?

Really think about these questions and answer them truthfully. If you’re feeling overwhelmed (and especially if you have for a while) then it’s time for something to change.

A couple weeks ago, I asked myself “What am I willing to give up?” In the previous post I mentioned wanting the day to be longer so I could get a few more things done. So, when I asked myself that question I took a look at how I was spending my time. Well, I’m a big fan of YouTube – I am subscribed to quite a few channels and keep up with all their latest videos. I probably spent 30-60 minutes a day watching videos. So, I gave up YouTube and I won’t get it back until I meet a specific goal. This was kind of a big deal for me and I committed to it (this put two to five hours back into each week). I even had my husband block YouTube so it won’t even load on any computer in the house.

Do I occasionally miss some of those YouTube channels? YES, but that extra time is worth a lot more to me.

Now, I want to be clear – This isn’t about giving up your personal time to free up more time for work or other things. Watching YouTube wasn’t quality personal time for me, it was a distraction in my work day that I liked, but didn’t love.

Another way to think about it is what do I spend a lot of time doing that is important, but not a high priority or is something that someone else could do?

Take a deep breath or go for a quick walk or do something else that brings you a sense of calm and ask yourself those questions.

Two more questions: What is not changing things costing you now? What will it cost you later?