Category: networking

Have you ever been to a networking group and something about it just seems off? And no one else seems to notice it?

Well, one of two things is probably happening:

1. Other people notice it and aren’t saying anything about it or letting on.
2. You’re the only one who feels like something is off.

Generally though, the reason is probably the first one.

However, the message is probably the same: this isn’t the right group for you.

I want to pause here to note a couple things. 1) Some groups are going to have an off day and that’s okay and to be expected on occasion. 2) If all the groups your attending feel off – recognize the common denominator – you 🙂 . If that’s happening, you have a great opportunity to look a bit deeper and ask yourself what’s going on.

Back to the topic.

Not every single group available is going to be a good fit for you. Just like every single person you meet isn’t your client. It’s not good or bad, it’s just one of those things that just IS.

And you usually don’t know if it’s for you or not until you attend a meeting (or two).

Sometimes, in an effort to “be the bigger person,” we keep going. Somehow thinking that it will get better if we just hang in there a little longer (I’ve done this).

And sometimes we’re not sure how to gracefully bow out – we feel like we need a good excuse to stop attending (done this too!).

Or it’s some combination of the two.

Either way, it can be difficult to say that we’ve decided to stop attending a group. And when asked about it we feel the need to over-explain or be apologetic.

What if instead you just said, I’ve decided it’s not the right group for me right now? Or if you have another reason to share, by all means share, but it doesn’t need to have a lot of details. And really “it’s not the right group for me right now” covers a lot of ground.

And you might be surprised to realize that it doesn’t even come up that you stopped attending.

What have you done, or would you do, in a similar situation? Share in the comments below!

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Are you wondering what are good places for you to network? Or maybe you’re out networking a lot and want to figure out which ones it’s time to leave?

Because the KiT program (Keep-in-Touch) program includes personal coaching time with me, I’ve got you covered! I can share what works for me and work with you to determine what works for you.

You can set up a time to talk with me here to determine if this is the right program for you. Or you can head over here to learn more about it.

One more thing, this is a new program, so I’m offering it at a special early bird investment through March 31. Reserve your complimentary appointment here!

Let’s talk about introverts for a bit. Did you know that I consider myself an introvert?

One of the many good things about being an introvert is that we tend to really enjoy one on one meetings with people. So, those get-to-know-you (coffee) meetings, I’ve grown to love them. I find them so much fun! Or calling to reconnect with someone, once I’ve moved beyond the weight of the phone, leaves me smiling for hours!

One of the best definitions I’ve heard for introverts is from Marti Olsen Laney’s book The Introvert Advantage (I borrowed this book from the library and loved it so much I bought myself a copy). She writes:

The strongest distinguishing characteristic of introverts is their energy source: Introverts draw energy from their internal world of ideas, emotions, and impressions. They are energy conservers. They can be easily overstimulated by the external world, experiencing the uncomfortable feeling of “too much.” This can feel like antsyness or torpor. In either case, they need to limit their social experiences so they don’t get drained. (emphasis mine)

I could go on, but it’s best to just read the book 😉

She writes about extroverts:

[Extroverts] are energized by the external world – by activities, people, places and things. They are energy spenders. Long periods of hanging out, internal contemplation, or being alone or with just one other person understimulate them.

To simplify, introverts need to be alone to recharge and extroverts need to be with groups of people to recharge.

As an aside, shy does NOT equal introvert. Shy can be an introvert or extrovert. Again, from The Introvert Advantage:

Shyness is social anxiety, an extreme self-consciousness when one is around people… it is usually learned from experiences at school, with friends, and in families… It is not an issue of energy; it is a lack of confidence is social situations.

Why am I sharing all of this?

Because it’s important to understand yourself.

When you know why you feel exhausted after a networking event and energized when meeting with one person you really connect with (yes, I’m making the assumption that you might be more of an introvert if you’re reading here) then you can plan. You can create strategies that support you.

For me, those include things like:

• Giving myself permission not to go to every networking opportunity that crosses my path
• Arriving five to ten minutes early to events that I know will have open networking time at the beginning
• Giving myself permission to hang out on the edge of a large networking event
• Taking a bathroom break to be by myself for a couple minutes
• Coming prepared with about three things I can share about my business or myself (beyond the elevator speech)

Those are just a few of my strategies.

The first step was going outside my comfort zone to attend networking events. I still remember how nervous I used to get in the car on the way there.

My mind would be going a million miles a minute second-guessing everything. Was I dressed appropriately? Was I sure I had the time right? Would anyone talk to me? Would I say the right things?

And physically, my stomach was in knots , as was my back, and my palms were all sweaty. I was nervous and stressed.

It was all exactly what needed to happen so that I could eventually be okay with going to these events. I learned that people will always talk to you. Strangers are pretty nice people and quickly stop being strangers. And even if I didn’t say the exact right thing, it was okay.

Would it have been easier if I had my strategies in place for that first meeting? Probably, but it was okay that I didn’t.

Through that process I learned what works and doesn’t work for me. Though reading books like The Introvert Advantage, I picked up other tips that I now use. Everything is a learning process.

I’d love it if you shared two things about yourself below in the comments

1. Do you consider yourself an introvert or extrovert?
2. What strategies do you use to support yourself when networking?

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Are you an introvert wondering how to make networking work for you? 

Because the KiT program (Keep-in-Touch) program includes personal coaching time with me, you’re covered! Let’s determine what works for you.

Email me to set up a time to talk and determine if this is the right program for you. Or you can head over here to learn more about it.

If magic pills they exist, I haven’t found them (and boy did I look!).

When I was super unhappy working for someone else, I spent a lot of time looking for magic pills. I searched all over the internet for something that would just make my life happier and easier. I had no idea what it looked like, but I was sure I’d know it when I saw it.

When I started my business I didn’t think it was a magic pill. Thankfully at that point I was pretty at peace with my job, and confident that it was time for something new.

But, I was still looking for magic pill, but now it looked different. It was how to earn money without leaving my comfort zone. How to stay as “safe” in my business as I had been in my job, but be more fulfilled.

And I had a plan, it involved having a website and doing a little networking. And voila! I’d have clients right?

Okay, so looking back I see I totally did the “I’ll hang my single and clients will just start coming” thing (didn’t think I was at the time, but hindsight’s 20/20, right?).

Before my magic pill’s result was happiness. Then it became a “successful” business (meaning one that at minimum paid the bills and left me with a little spending money).

These days, I’m pretty secure in the fact that there are no magical pills that provide happiness, fulfillment or a “successful” business. And I’m pretty suspicious of anything that claims I can make $$$,$$$ money in 30-days (or even 90-days).

And I know that for my business, people need to get to know me a lot better than is possible via a website.

This means that getting out of the house and networking is extremely important to my business. As is recognizing where are the best places for me to be and letting go of the ones that are fun, but not great places for me.

How do I do that?

Well, I have a pretty good idea who my ideal client is. They are solopreneurs who don’t make excuses, are ready to do the work to get the results, are excited to work with me, happily pay me and know that I’m there to support them for the bumps along the way.

Does that sound like enough to know were I should and shouldn’t go networking? 

It certainly helps narrow things down, but sometimes you have to go to a group a couple of times or so to get a feel for it.

Basically, I know that if there is a magic pill, it’s me doing the work. And I’ve learned that I have to stretch my comfort zone to do that.

So, if you’re someone who’s looking for those three magic steps to take you from zero to a six figure income in 30-days, I’m not the right person for you.

However, if you’re someone who’s ready to do the work (inside and out, on and in) then stick around. We’ll get along great.

What magic pills have you looked for in the past? I’d love for you to share in the comments below.

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Wondering how to figure out where you should be networking, or if it’s time to gracefully bow out of a few places you’ve been going?

This is covered in my new KiT program (Keep-in-Touch). In this program you’ll get clear about who your ideal client is and where to find them

You can set up a time to talk with me here to determine if this is the right program for you. Or you can head over here to learn more about it.

Networking, love it or hate it, if you’re an entrepreneur it’s something that you probably spend some time doing multiple times a month.

And it’s been on my mind a lot in one way or another over the past year or so.

Why? Well, last year I was trying to figure it out. I was past the point where I was “new.” So, why wasn’t I seeing more clients coming from networking? What was the magic formula that other people seemed to know? Or was there one?

I’ve heard people say networking works, when you do it right and network in the right spots. And I thought I was networking at the right spots and I was regularly attending (I knew all the other regulars), wasn’t that enough?

As it turns out, no, that wasn’t enough, for me anyway.

Think about the networking groups you go to regularly. You know the other regulars right? And if you hear someone else say something similar to one of the regulars elevator pitch, you’re going to instantly think of them, right?

Well, what about those businesses that are a little harder to describe. You kinda get it, but you’re not really clear. It’s harder to know what a good referral is for them, right?

Now, are you one of those businesses? You might think that your elevator speech is really clear, that everyone just gets what you do. 

And you might be very, very wrong. I was.

I thought that it was very clear what I did. I’m the Entrepreneur’s Productivity Coach. Isn’t it obvious how I help small businesses? Ummm, no.

But it’s so hard for us to see that from inside our own business.

This is why meeting beyond networking is so important. Have coffee or a phone conversation with people beyond the confines of the networking group.

This not only gives you an opportunity to share more about your business (notice I wrote share about your business, not launch into your sales pitch) and, more importantly, it gives you an opportunity to learn more about the other person’s business and personal life.

These relationships not only help your business, they can support you.

As I’ve done this for my own business I’ve meet business owners that I just love spending time with. I want to just hang out with them, because they’re cool and we just click.

I would have never known that if I wouldn’t have reached out beyond networking.

Think about one or two people that you want to reach out to later this week or early next week to set up a coffee or phone meeting. Let me know when you’ll be meeting with them in the comments below!

Nervous about making that phone call or writing that email to set up that meeting? Or maybe you’re worried about what to say or share in the meeting?

This is covered in my new KiT program (Keep-in-Touch). There are scripts to model and suggested questions to ask to help take the “I don’t know what to do” fear out of the picture. And, of course, you have one on one time with me to help you through those things too!

You can set up a time to talk with me here to determine if this is the right program for you. Or you can head over here to learn more about it.