Month: January 2011

Changing a Default Setting

by EvieBurke, posted in Default Setting

Yesterday I planned today almost completely out.  I had a schedule that would take me from when I got up at 6:30 to 6:30pm.  I have a lot of things I want to accomplish today and I wanted to make sure I got everything done.  Sounds good right?

I went to bed last night with a headache and figured that by the time morning came around it would be gone.  Well, I was very wrong.  I woke up this morning with a horrible headache.  I thought about getting up and starting my morning as planned, but the though literally left me feeling a little sick to my stomach.

I took something for my headache and figured I had two choices: 1) Get up and go about my morning while I waited for the medicine to kick in or 2) go back to bed and let the medicine and sleep do their things.  I opted for number 2.

I actually had more than two choices, because the internal dialog we have with ourselves is also a choice.  After I picked option 2 my internal dialog started  in with “oohh, now I’m not going to get everything I wanted to done!  I really have to get those things done today!”  I quickly realized that beating myself up over this was not productive.  So, I changed my dialog to “It’s more important to take care of myself and recognize when my body needs rest.  I’ll get a lot accomplished when I feel better.”

I call the original dialog my “default setting”.  A “default setting” is the way you automatically react to something, kind of like settings on your computer or phone.  Default settings can be changed, but some are harder to change than others.

I’m working on changing my default settings in situations like this morning.  I tend to beat myself up when I can’t meet the high expectations I have for myself.  Instead I want to be more loving and caring with myself (I wouldn’t treat a friend that way, why should I treat myself that way!).

The first step to changing your default settings is to recognize when you have one you want to change and then replace it with a new message.

What default settings do you have that you want to change?  Tell me about them in the comments!

2011 Word of the Year

by EvieBurke, posted in engaged, Word of the Year

In my last post I wrote about my 2010 word of the year.  In this post I’m going to share how and why I picked my 2011 word.

I started my 2011 word of the year search by looking at a list of possibilities and picking out the ones that grabbed my attention.  Those words were: growth, presence, attention, focus, present and engaged.  After thinking about the list for a bit I narrowed it down to three: presence, present and engaged.

I thought about how the words are similar for me.  They all demand that I am fully involved in whatever activity I’m doing.  This is something really want to work on this year.  After my first month working from home I realized how much time I spend jumping from one task to another without really focusing.  I also tend to multi-task, which doesn’t always work out for me, neither item gets what it really needs: my full attention.

The word I selected is “engaged”.  It speaks to me the most.

This word will challenge me a bit this year.  You see, I have a tendency to withdraw into myself when I’m in a new or uncomfortable setting.  I like to get a lay of the land before I participate and that can take a while.  This word challenges me to be involved in any setting I’m in.

This also means I need to stop multi-tasking and jumping from one task to another.  It challenges me to focus on whatever I’m currently doing.

Being “engaged” also means letting go of or saying no to activities I don’t find myself fully engaged in.  This allows me to say no, or not now, to at least one thing I’m currently involved in.  It also gives me a new lens to look at other possible activities through.  If I don’t think it’s something I will be fully engaged in, then I won’t participate.  This doesn’t mean that I get to say no to all activities outside my comfort zone!  Instead, I’ll look for activities that I am excited about (regardless of my comfort zone).

I like setting myself up for success whenever possible, so I came up with some strategies.  They are:

  • Set an intention for each meeting/event/outing I attend
  • Only attend meetings/events/outings that I have a high potential to feel fully engaged in.
  • Set an intention for each day
  • Meditate daily
  • Set goals for each week
  • Set goals at the beginning of each day (or the end of the previous one)

I’m excited to see how “engaged” will focus and challenge me this year.

Have you selected a word of the year?  If so, let me know about it in the comments!