Month: May 2011

One Small Step at a Time

by EvieBurke, posted in Changes, planning

Apparently this week’s theme is looking back over the last year.  As I once again think about what’s happened over the course of the last year.

Just over a year ago I hired a life coach to help me answer the infamous question “What do I want to be when I grow up?” A lot has changed in the last year. For one, I had to accept that although conventional wisdom tells you to do what you love, no one was going to pay me money to watch YouTube videos all day (and I’d probably quickly tire of it).

Anyway, a lot has changed for me in the last year. I decided to become a life coach and started training. I left a job (well, really a family) that I had for basically eight years and started my own business. And then I completed my life coach training and turned my focus completely to being a full-time life coach. While it fits in a few sentences, it feels like a lot, right?

Well, yes and no. There’s a funny thing about big changes: they generally don’t happen all at once. Looking back, it looks and feels like a lot. But really, change happens one small step at a time. Yes, some steps are bigger and scarier than others (like quitting a job), but I was surprised to look back and see what I’ve accomplished over the last year.  Most steps didn’t feel huge and scary because they were small steps toward a larger goal.

The point of telling this story is to ask you: what changes have you not made because they feel big and scary?

Take it one small step at a time. And find someone to help you through it.  This could be a close friend you really trust, a family member, someone in your faith community or someone you hire. And remember, generally life changes one minute at a time and in small steps. Look up at where you want to be and put your focus on the next small step to take you there.

So, what changes (or tasks even) are you avoiding because they feel big and scary?

Your One Year Plan

by EvieBurke, posted in planning

A year ago at this time I was working with my coach to decide what my next career step would be.  One of the most useful things she had me do was think about and write down how I wanted my life to look, but it didn’t start with a year from now.  Nope, it started with 10 years from now, then 5 years, then 1 year.

For me, this was backwards of how I normally planned, but her reason made sense.  When you plan for 10 years out you automatically tap into your intuition.  And when you start with one or five years out then your brain can logically determine where you will probably be, but 10 years out is harder for your brain to predict.

Want to try it?  Think about 10 years from now.  What do you want be feeling?  What do you want to be doing? What do you want to have?  What does a normal weekday look and feel like? And weekend? Then repeat for 5 years out and 1 year out.  Each one is a step to the next one.

I did this exercise and I could answer all of the questions except what I wanted to be doing.  However, answering the questions gave me a good feel for the types of jobs that would be a good fit.  I saw myself working from home, setting my own schedule and making a difference in people’s lives in a way that I got to see and not just imagine.  It didn’t tell me exactly what I would be doing, but it gave me a framework to start with.

Perhaps you’re not trying to figure out your next career step, maybe you’re looking for something else.  About five years ago I would have done this exercise and saw myself in a full time job, but there were other things I was searching for: fulfillment, spiritual connections and meaningful friendships.  I bet if I would have done the exercise then I would have placed myself in a future with those things.  Working through this exercise would have given me a framework to work with and goals to plan for.

Try this exercise for yourself and let me know one goal you want to accomplish in the next week as a result.

Is Control an Illusion?

by EvieBurke, posted in attitude, Complaining

I was thinking about control the other day and how we don’t have control over a lot of things that happen in our lives.  We can’t control the weather, our friends and family or the other drivers.  Sometimes this can be rather frustrating for me.  Where is spring?  Why is it still chilly here? Why is that person tailgating me?  Who’s going to be nice and let me change lanes?

So, last weekend when I heard someone say that being in control of our lives is just an illusion, I immediately nodded my head in agreement.  After all, just look at the list of things I can’t control.  The list of things I can’t control is infinite.

Then I remembered the one thing I do have control of in all situations.  I am in control of how I choose to react in each situation I’m in or observe.  I get to choose whether the guy tailgating me annoys the heck out of me or not.  I get to choose if I complain about the cold day or enjoy the fact that the sun is out.  You get to make those same decisions in your life.

So, is control an illusion?  I guess it depends on what you’re trying to control.  Are you trying to control the situation or your reaction to the situation?  I find it’s less stressful for me when I make the decision to control my reaction, rather than the situation.

What do you think?